A non-descript title

Post 137

2008-01-03T00:30:00.000-08:00

Let's see....

This will be my last post. However, before I terminate this blog here, I would like to share a final few useless points.

1. This blog is ending because I realised that my "fellow victims" were actually the spies. Great. I could have killed them anytime, but no. I let them go. And now the idea is getting old and lame. Lame is not me, therefore I am cutting off here.

2. Every post has a unique title. They may follow a theme, but all of them have unique names. Go ahead, see all of them.

3. I got into blogging because I was emo. Just check the date. Very few of you would know why. Honestly. Now I am stuck blogging because I use more brains blogging than playing CS. It's like GP practice, you know. Rather than spray-and-pray violence. I still like it, though.

4. Spies ARE still everywhere. I know. I'm one of them. Don't we all spy on each other? Even stealing a glance without other people's knowledge is spying, because they don't know you're looking at them. Hence spying.

5. This is the last useless point.

Goodbye.

Please click here.

This is it,

2008-01-02T18:41:00.000-08:00

I need a new title.

No, this blog does not suck. But when I look hard at my title, I realise that it does not reflect my state of mind any longer. Besides, this blog pretty much is all about what happened in 2oo7. It has no relevance in 2oo8, and it makes me sounds like a paranoiac. A paranoiac is close to being an unstable person. Since I am of sound mind, I therefore cannot bear an unstable reputation, although I somewhat do. Never mind that.

Anyway, I am building a new blog and thrashing this one now, and there's nothing you can do about it.

Click here

S'pore and Georgetown

2007-12-30T03:17:00.000-08:00

I think an end-of-year entry is quite due, but I will do that somewhere around tomorrow-- i mean, later today. Hopefully.

In the meantime, I have just returned from a tiring trip down Georgetown. Now I realise that it's not such a small world out there after all. There are so many differences between S'pore and Georgetown.

1: You order your food in Hokkien in Georgetown. In Singapore you use plain, old, English. Barbaric compared to refined, smooth Hokkien.

2: You can't tell the kopitiam aunty "Sui Kam Peng" in S'pore and expect her to know what that is (It's lime juice in Hokkien, by the way). Heck, when you order "Gyu Don" (which is Japanese for a beef rice dish) from some Japanese stalls in S'pore, they go "HUH?", forcing you to look through the menu for something that is in their vocabulary.

3: In Georgetown, you can take S$2 and have a hearty lunch. Food and drink, and spare change too. In S'pore you're lucky if you can buy 1 plate of chicken rice with that S$2.

4: People in Georgetown have given up on traffic lights. They just chiong the roads. People in S'pore go to pains to find a crossing, because there are so many of them anyway. And the timings are so good that you could shuffle your feet and still make it. Personally, I prefer chionging. It makes you feel like you're building your judgemental skills on a daily basis. Kinda like walking up stairs to get stronger.

5: Drivers in Georgetown are better than S'porean drivers. Actually, thai drivers have mad skillz, but since I'm not talking about Thailand, Georgetown will do. But they're still better than S'porean drivers. In S'pore, everything is laid out so systematically, almost robotically. There isn't much judging for drivers to do. So when there is a need for quick thinking, their brains stop, and instictively avert the disaster, doing whatever seems best, which usually means swerving into someone else's way. Blasting of horns ensue.

6: Slums don't exist in S'pore. Everything must be in tip-top shape so that the country can reach maximum efficiency. Next thing you know, we'll be importing Japanese scientists to build us humanoid robots to do a day's work in an hour. But it's nice to see back-alleys for a change in Georgetown. I mean, people live in slums because they obviously can't afford better houses. They have to eke out a living. Hopefully they are honest workers, unlike blue-collar workers who go around office-politicking.

7: Squatters don't exist in S'pore either. Which is a good thing, because we don't want people claiming land by virtue of having sat there for a decade. But some squatters own chickens, and there's even a squatter fishing near Georgetown. So they live honest lives too. It's the principle that counts.

And the thing which makes Georgetown better than S'pore, no matter how lousy you may think it is...

8: The Char Koay Teow. You cannot deny it. It rox.

Well, it is 3.15am now. Too bad I cannot stay up like this anymore soon. Good night, spies. You should go to Georgetown. I'll provide the cannon. It will be a great show.

Christmas.

2007-12-25T00:25:00.000-08:00

All I know is that Christmas is 7 days away from the end of the year.

And that's all X'mas means to me. You would know why if you know me well enough. Which you probably don't. Aw.

Once again, I am short of time because I leave blogging to the last minute, so I have to cut off here. Good night, spies.

Still Standing

2007-12-22T13:37:00.000-08:00

Going to Malaysia has taught me a few things. For instance, You can have a solid meal for S$1. Being a tourist feels good.

It appears that guys and girls of my age alike all want partners. That's not shocking news because I can testify to the 'calling'. What I am wondering is whether it is practical to foster a relationship when our occupation is listed as 'student'. Is it practical?

As students, we have studies to worry about. Duh. We also interact with one another, and will always find someone to take a fancy to. Please take a fancy to those people, because no one can stop you. However, we should not take it too far because that's like jumping into the deep end. Gah, I sound like some nagging parent.

On the other hand... your good friend is a convenient study partner. I like the idea of study partners. Both benefit, both get the good grades, and both become better friends. Compare that to closet muggers, who don't make friends whilst mugging without anybody to talk to. Closet mugging is therefore a cause of nerdiness. Do you want to be a nerd? I doubt it. Therefore, having a good friend can be quite beneficial for your studies.

But having a good friend also means that you are all the more compelled to buy him/her a gift on their birthday, on Vday, etc. Wallet burned. You would also feel compelled to help them in things which may not fully benefit you. Time burned. You lose time and money, but you feel good about it, and that's all that matters. You feel good. Right?

And that's what this world wants now. Instant gratification. They want to feel good and they want to feel good now. Instant coffee mix. Instant noodles. Everything is instant. They even have instant chicken rice mix. Last time, it took a day to cook good chicken rice from scratch. Now all you have to do is buy the mix and throw it into the rice pot. Or something. I haven't tried the mix but it's definitely easier that poaching a chicken for hours.

Well, all this is amusing, but if there is a point to this aimless bashing, it would be that we should think more long-term. There's short term and long term, just like in econs. Everyone wants to feel good now without realising the consequences. Environment problems is one, but that's another story. The world will slowly run into a dead end unless people look ahead and not down at their feet to see if they're stepping on any rocks.

Wow, such aimless ranting. From love to gratification to the end of the world. I hope this blog has imprinted itself as unique in this fashion.

Oh yeah, I may decide to change the blog title. Just a thought, toying around with it, but I cannot shake the feeling that people overseas are really spying on me, and this becomes scary because I cannot track them. They might be spying on me to find out where I live, and then come at me with guns and knives. I don't want that. I want peace. Peace, bro.

Good day, spies.

How strange.

2007-12-19T19:04:00.000-08:00

For some reason, I get the stinging feeling that some people grab ideas for their blogs by looking at each other's blogs.. including mine. That's not fair.

In Malaysia, it is not easy to find Internet access. Hence the 7-day rift. I hope that none of you go mad and vandalise my home while I am out. It's not very nice to destroy people's belongings, you know...

Penang has been slow. The way I like it. Everything is a 5-minute walk away. Except the city, where the arcade is. Dooh. Plus I have quite some time to spend here. I will be back... sometime. I can't think of anything else to say. Darn.

I am running short of time. I will continue some other day if and when I have the chance. Good evening, and hopefully you won't die from the lack of updates.

Sawatdee Khrab

2007-12-12T17:33:00.000-08:00

You figure out what that means.

Bangkok was nice. Apart from the polluted streets which gave me an almost stinging feeling all over, it was nice. The sun sets at 6, but Bangkok was nice. We bought a whole lot of strange things, like chewing gum (not strange), to glass vials of varying sizes that come complete with cork stoppers (a bit strange), and finally a charcoal pencil about 1 foot long (somewhat strange).

On the second day, we went to this big place called Chatuchak Market. The place is basically a department store, only that it's not air-conditioned, there are hundreds of shops instead of one brand name, and most importantly, you can bargain. They even divided the place into aisles, like one row of shops would be for clothes, or for furniture. We spent about 2 hours there, and bought things like those salt/pepper shakers which resemble a hugging couple (It's rather abstract though. No pics, so too bad).

We got bored thereafter, so we decided to find an arcade. And we decided to do it with style. So we got into a tuk-tuk and went to MBK. The ride was fun. You spent half the time clinging onto the side in attempts not to fall off the vehicle. Which was pretty pointless because the tuk-tuk is in reality quite safe, but there were 3 people sitting in the back, and the tuk-tuk is quite small, so that made the tuk-tuk feel not so safe. But the ride was cheap. 120 baht, and MBK is quite far.

MBK was good too. It was that strange shopping centre which I thought was split into 4. Which it isn't. But it's still big. Anyway, we went there and finished House of the Dead 4 using 140 baht, which is dirt cheap because 1 continue costs 10 baht. When you compare that to Singapore, it only makes sense to play arcade games in Bangkok because one game here costs S$1.50 to S$2.00. The prices jack up in Australia, where games go from A$1.00 to A$2.00. Given the choice, it's only sensible to play in Bangkok, but the only problem is that Bangkok is a very far place to go to by foot. So I'm stuck to playing at super high prices. Oh yeah, we got ourselves some nice joke shirts. You might notice them in the future, so keep watching.

The third day was also interesting. We wanted to go to Paragon, so we were headed toward the Skytrain (quite an efficient system. I like it), when some guy in a tuk-tuk offers to bring us there for 20 baht. That's cheap. But there's a little trick. We must pay a visit to a jewelry shop first. So after halving the trip cost to 10 baht, we jumped aboard the tuk-tuk and visited this shop. They actually make their own gems there, and they even convert currency there if you want to buy from their shop next to where they cut the gems. If you go there, don't convert your currency there because it's a rip. It really looks like a place tour groups would go to. Maybe we should just ditch the tour packages next time because they cost money, and on top of that, you can actually strain discounts from whoever is bringing you to these places.

We went to MBK after Paragon, and played even more arcade. Didn't finish any games this time, but realised Ghost Squad is not really that fun after all because the gun, modeled after a UMP45 (I think), is so cumbersome. Went for bowling after that, and lunch. That kind of stuff. Then it was Chinatown, where we found this back-alley shop selling noodles. It's really back-alley (duh). The shop is sandwiched between the buildings, and it comes complete with junk piled on one side of the street.Despite all the junk, there are no flies. Strange. Food is cheap in Bangkok, and good to eat as well. So far, I haven't gotten food poisoning, therefore the food is good.

Last day was busy because the flight was at 11.45. Nothing to say there, and I am running out of time once again...

So I shall end off here. Good evening, spies. As of tomorrow, I will magick myself away from here, and end up in Malaysia. Maybe I will blog in, maybe I won't. If you want, pray hard that I will, but who am I to exert my hopes on you.. Whatever. Good evening.

28 Messages Later

2007-12-12T00:16:00.000-08:00

This title is dedicated to that mail site thing which I use very often, Hotmail.

I leave for Bangkok for 4 freaking days, and it seems that my class has nothing better to do but to spam my mailbox. When I log onto MSN, I see a number '28', and I wonder if my computer fell ill when I was away. So I click the letter thing, and I see 28 distinct messages, which proves that I wasn't spammed by porn messages. Which is a good thing, because my computer is virus-free.

Anyway, when I see the site, I see 28 messages. Below are the email names:

RE: class gathering. PLEASE READ!!
RE: class gathering. PLEASE READ!!
RE: class gathering. PLEASE READ!!
RE: class gathering. PLEASE READ!!
RE: class gathering. PLEASE READ!!
RE: class gathering. PLEASE READ!!
RE: class gathering. PLEASE READ!!
Re: class gathering. PLEASE READ!!
RE: class gathering. PLEASE READ!!
RE: class gathering. PLEASE READ!!
RE: class gathering. PLEASE READ!!
RE: class gathering. PLEASE READ!!
RE: class gathering. PLEASE READ!!
RE: class gathering. PLEASE READ!!
Re: class gathering. PLEASE READ!!
RE: class gathering. PLEASE READ!!
RE: class gathering. PLEASE READ!!
Friendster - See What's New with Joen Bruce Chow
FW: class gathering. PLEASE READ!!
Re: class gathering. PLEASE READ!!
RE: class gathering. PLEASE READ!!
RE: class gathering. PLEASE READ!!
RE: class gathering. PLEASE READ!!
RE: class gathering. PLEASE READ!!

This is retarded.

I can see that almost everyone in the class wants me to turn up in the outing, but I can't (doink). I'm going on a holiday again. This time to Penang. On the 14th, so no ice-skating for me I guess. Oh yeah, that reminds me, there is this strange new mall near the Indoor Stadium which has an ice skating rink. Not sure if it's great, but it's definitely new. And I doubt it would smell like car exhaust fumes. Hmm.. Deyong actually bothers to smell fumes? So that's what he means by taking drugs...

I have an entry regarding my trip to Bangkok due. Unfortunately, once again, it is late. I will blog about this... today, sometime today. Hopefully. Good night, spies.

Flying Away

2007-12-08T11:57:00.000-08:00

Well, here I am once again.

I will be flying away, as my title suggests. I hope I can still blog enough to not call this entry a short one, which I happen to not show a good countenance upon. I hope you can understand whatever I am saying, because I will not hold back on cheem terms because I do not have much time to think about whatever I am saying. In fact, I'm not stopping to think about what I am saying now because I don't have time. I will leave this computer to rot in about... 10 minutes, which is not much time, therefore I am not thinking whilst blogging.

I will be going to Bangkok, where there is this huge shopping centre, split into four quadrants, and each of them is so huge you could get lost in just one side. Such a scary thing, you know. Okay, I'm not thinking anymore. If I blog anymore today, I might drive you spies up the wall. Which should be okay for me, but if you guys die too quickly, why should I even bother keeping this blog? Therefore, I will torture you all just enough to not allow you all to die, but keep you watching anyway.

Okay, I think this is enough. Good day, spies. You want something from Bangkok? Go get it yourself. Wow, this took me only 5 minutes to do. That's a record.

Strangely Speaking...

2007-12-07T12:17:00.000-08:00

When I read other people's blogs, I realise that the guys tend to talk about what holds meaning to them, while girls will talk about practically anything from shoes, to The Click Five, to profiling themselves or each other on their blogs. I talk about whatever comes to mind, which could be practically anything from romance to death (Red to Black? LoL). Does that mean I'm gay?

Granted that I don't say "Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you!" (thx Yeewen) or go ga-ga over the Click Five (ehehe), but I talk about romance. Do guys talk about romance? Haven't seen one yet. And in this world, there are only guys and girls. So if guys don't blog about such things, therefore by elimination I deduce that only girls blog about romance. So am I gay? I, unsurprisingly, doubt it.

I mean, if you've been reading long enough, you would realise that I concoct very strange things on my blog. I have my Aaron story series, the (abruptly discontinued) Mockery Series, and all sorts and manners of poems which, to you, may not hold much meaning, but I put them on anyway. Romance is just another grain in the rice cooker. All mixed together with water which is the blog base to create the meal which most of us enjoy: White Rice. Add some chicken and you get, yes, chicken rice. Which I like, and I hope you like it too, if not the metaphor is wasted. Therefore, I am not gay.

Besides, guys tend to talk about what holds meaning to them, while girls will talk about literally anything. I blog about whatever comes to mind, which means that what holds meaning to me will come to mind, therefore blogging whatever comes to my mind doesn't count as talking about anything. I'm still covered. Therefore, I am not gay.

Honestly, I don't like the idea of being gay. As a heterosexual, the idea revolts me. Even the Bible calls homosexuality an abomination. Sounds harsh, right? That's the Bible. Solid Word that you can't 'enhance'. The Apocrypha is another story though, but that deserves a completely new entry.

Well, I am going to Thailand tomorrow. I hope that I won't get get into trouble there because I'm just another tourist... Need anything from there? You had better get me fast.. And I probably won't get it for you either because you're a cheap spy. Good day.

If at first you do not succeed, you fail.

2007-12-05T19:35:00.000-08:00

But when stumped, remember this,"Someone's there, and He is always watching."

Well, if you're not Christian, then feel free to disregard the last paragraph. Do not, however, feel free to flame me on public forums because I will be upset. If I happen to read one of them.

I just bought The Orange Box. Now I have 1 too many Half-Lifes. Perhaps one of you spies would like a gift then? A bomb? The thought excites me.

I remember Helix blogging about Portal, and I have to say that he is right. Portal gameplay is super short, but fun nonetheless. I whacked the game in 2h 4omins. The game is more like a demonstration of the potential of portals, rather than a fully-fleshed out game, despite having some sort of objective to it, because it is so darn short. You could half expect the portal concept to come out for future Half-Lifes, if it has not already done so. Still playing HL2:E2, so have to see for myself.

On the other hand, the developers could have run out of ideas to put in play. Or they suddenly realised that the playtesters went mad after playing the full game in one shot, and decided to stop there. Whatever the reason, it does not change the fact that Portal is too piddly short.

Well, I think this is enough for now. Good evening, spies.

You were warned...

2007-12-03T22:45:00.000-08:00

Well, I blogged late. Just as I warned you all.

Hmm.. how was camp... There were houseflies everywhere, the wind was cold at night, and I forgot to bring pen and paper. The camp was a nice camp though. It's knowing what the camp stands for and what the church stands for that makes this experience very special. Few would understand. I doubt any of you spies would understand either.

Now onto the blog... Hmm.

What should I blog about? I have suddenly experienced a lack of ideas. The things not blogging for 5 days can do to you. Sians....

Okay. How about this... My homework is not even touched, I'm not even sure if I can find my homework, and I have not finished the econs Intranet thing they put up for us... Am I special? Probably not. Odds are you haven't either. Aha. Is that called being normal then? I would think so.

This holiday is getting better and better. Now I have econs tuition and a trip to Bangkok to look forward to. Oh joy. Does anyone want to join me? Be warned that you may get whacked, but it's worth it.

What the heck. I might as well end off here.

What was I going to say again?

2007-11-29T00:03:00.000-08:00

I forget.

I remember reading blogs that have nearly one-line entries. They're, well, easy to read and easy to write, but they're the nightmare of people who are bored because they run through so quickly. Imagine a bored person who reads his friends' blogs, one by one, after coming back from a day of work, and all he sees is "Nobody likes me. I think I'm gonna kill myself". It would not hold much interest value (Unless it was his GF's blog, THEN he's got a reason to worry) and he would resort to playing Maple, which actually leaves him even more stoned. Can you imagine mindless pharming? Anyway, that is why, in lieu of all these one-liners, I always make sure that I blog about something, and make it more than just super short. I don't hate one-liners, nor do I want to point fingers, but after a while, consistently reading these nearly non-existent entries begins to prick you in sensitive areas, so I feel that I just HAVE to note this nonsensical point again.

On a less subjective standpoint, I am off to camp in 9 hours as of.... now. No need to wish me off, because I would probably take the chance to kill you. Unless you send an SMS, in which I will probably get frustrated and cry because I cannot kill you.

Don't send an SMS.

Don't even try to make contact with me because you won't get me even if you tried. Reception will suck where I'm going. And no, you won't get free IDD either.

Well, that settles this entry. Good night. Don't blog about killing yourself either because I cannot be held liable for it. If you die, I might give a laugh or two though.

Inscrutable

2007-11-27T01:38:00.000-08:00

I came across this strange word, and for some reason, I identify with it rather well, whether I like it or not. No, I am not trying to boast that I am able to keep secrets very well. I identify with it because, sadly, someone said I was weird. And another one said the same thing, which confirms the suggestion that I am weird. All through this year, I have heard people of all shapes and sizes call me weird, in fact. Which confirms the notion: I am weird.

Why do people call me weird? I have two arms, two legs, two eyes, a nose, a mouth and a belly button, just like everyone else. What makes me weird? Certainly not this blog. Many people blog. So what is that special thing which makes people call me weird? Maybe I joke a lot? Yeah...

But how does joking link to being weird?

Wikipedia (Yes, wiki again) says that that a fight-or-flight reaction is elicited when the mind encounters something that doesn't make sense. This would be a joke or a sudden loud noise. When the person understands the event, or gets the joke, it creates a sense of relief that the "danger" has passed, leading to the laugh. Jokes which involve something sadistic like nailing a duck's feet to the ground tend to get better laughs because the "danger" factor is there. The more original the joke is, the better results it may obtain as well because the person would expect it less, thus raising the no-sense factor.

So I sum up: For a joke to be funny, it can, but not necessarily must, be 1: Original, and 2: extreme.

So why am I weird? I want to make people happy, and the best way to do that is to be the joke. I want to be funny. Therefore I become weird. Sometimes it doesn't work, sometimes it does. I'm hoping that with some practice, "sometimes it works" will become "it always works". Besides, people always remember a weird person. Take Clement, for example. Okay, perhaps not weird, but he's good. Oh yeah, he's good. You will know what I mean if you know him.

So being weird is one thing. The problem is that when being weird is a part of you, there's no proper 'off' switch to being weird because you have sunk yourself in too far in order to reach that level. Woe is me. I will never be taken seriously again, and my business career will be an utter failure because nobody will be able to work seriously with me ever. I shall become a drain cleaner because I will never be able to hold a decent job because my interviewers will leave the room laughing too much to remember to hire me. There you go, I'm being weird again.

Well, guess I'm not the only one who's weird then. There's you spies... Good night, spies. Enjoy your new status of weird-dom.

Checklist

2007-11-26T00:21:00.000-08:00

In about 3 hours, I realised that 2oo8 is the Year of the Checklist for me.

To start, here is one for my holiday. 7 items will suffice.

1: Find an econs tutor.
2: Find a means of attending a Venture Leadership Camp.
3: Find a means to attain a minimum straight B's for my terms. Perhaps a study group.
4: Pack for various holidays and camps.
5: Find time for all the above because I am going abroad too much to do any of the above during the holiday.
6: Find a way to study for all the subjects that I could be falling behind in. Chemistry included.
7: Think of 1 more thing to add to this checklist. Oh wait, here it is.

In short, God help me.

Gosh, this sounds emo. I hope this won't stick to me. If it does, I'm only one step away from slitting my own wrists. If I cut my wrists enough times, I will probably die from blood loss, which is not a good prospect given that I could still make a difference to people out there. What a lovely thought. I could make a difference to people in the world.

As you can see, I am going abroad a few times. As such, I will not be able to blog consistently anymore. Fear not, I will do my best to check in when I can. Or if I can.

Good night, spies.

Lyric Madness

2007-11-25T02:31:00.000-08:00

I'm not a perfect person
There're many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you-

What do people mean by "I never meant to" anyway?

Let's say you got angry at someone and told him/her off. Some of them will get hurt and may begin to stop talking to you. I repeat, some, not all. But you're free to speculate how many people will... ahh whatever. Anyway, some will stop talking to you because they were hurt by your thoughtless comments. Now you tell the person that you never meant to make those comments.

Let's not even worry about whether the person accepts the apology. Is the apology true? Did you really never mean to say those things? Well, given that you had decided, in your rage or frustration, to make that comment out of anger directed at the person, you really HAD meant to hurt the person at some point, thus invalidating the statement "I never meant to" because never is an absolute word. Ah darn, still gotta do GP...

Anyway, what if you, in your sheer lack of tact or foresight, burned someone without thinking, and suddenly found yourself in a spot with that someone? Would the statement "I never meant to" work here? I guess it could on the most part. After all, you did not expect his statement to hurt the person. There is an absence of motive. For example, you played a prank on someone and everyone was laughing at the person. The person feels frustrated and...well, stuff. But you expected the person to laugh at the joke too because that's what you are well known for. Things like that could happen.

So what does this nonsense prove? That "I never meant to" doesn't work all the time, but it does hold water quite often, so whenever someone uses this line to say sorry, don't automatically think to yourself "The slimebag lies again!" You felt angry; that's normal, but see that the person is sorry. Would he/she do it again? That's one of the main things you should be looking for. Does he/she mean it? That's another. Things like that. I doubt I have to continue. Why the heck am I still writing?

Time to sleep. At least it's better than the 4am I clocked a few days ago.. Good night, spies.

Scrutiny

2007-11-24T00:05:00.000-08:00

Today was crazy. Even now I am experiencing the after-effects of what I had to do today.

Firstly, I woke up at 8. Sounds normal, but consider that I slept at 3. Holidays is not an excuse. I am now suffering from a headache which will mysteriously disappear when I go to sleep. Ergo, I am experiencing after-effects.

Secondly, I had to wake up at 8 for a piano exam. I've done it so many times, so theoretically I should be okay. Theory never applies for pre-exam jitters. But the examiner was nice. I got full marks for aural tests. Yay. I might just pass.

I enjoyed the rest of the day.

Prior to making this entry, I had to brush my teeth. Why am I blogging about something mundane? Because I'd lace my teeth with Novocaine before brushing if I could. Gargle, rinse, spit. Blood is present. Either I brush too hard or my gums are terrible. Now I'm scared of brushing my teeth.

Well, this entry is short, but I think it sums up my day. The pain is rather bad. Good evening, spies.

P.S. Got any Novocaine?

A Likening

2007-11-22T01:22:00.000-08:00

Well, I did say that my blog was meant to talk about life, love, and everything in between, so here I go.

What should I liken love to? Maybe your life is like a speedboat, and love is like hitting the gas. You get high on the sea spray and it sure is a bumpy ride, but then again you are, well, inexperienced and not used to all this speed, and may even end up crashing around the rocks because you jammed the pedal while hitting the gas. Now you know what people mean when they say,"Their relationship is on the rocks". Our fear of crashing makes us play safe, dump the fuel and scream "Paddle power ftw!"

But you play safe long enough, it gets boring and slow. And the grin on your friend's face when he decides to hit the gas only makes you wish you could burn fuel too. But no, you already ditched the fuel and switched to wooden oars. So in a way, that's like love. Hard to start, hard to stop. Risky when started, but boring when not. What else? You decide. I can't do all the thinking, can I?

Okay, that's good for tonight. Good night, spies.

Strange Things

2007-11-21T03:57:00.000-08:00

I had my suspicions that people looked at me as rather religious. Today confirmed it.

My brother and I were talking to my dad and his wife about how we conjectured how long my friend's mum's marriage would last. Typical gossip, sad to say, but the strange thing is that my dad reacted to it rather strangely.

He tried to tell us off. Something like,"Isn't church supposed to teach you good morals? Then you all gossip behind people's backs. Not very nice to other people.."

What does he think church is, a morals shop, that going to church automatically makes you loving, caring to perfection?

But that's not all. He continues,"You all talk about how you go to church and all, and then you do this kind of thing."

Is he trying to insult my church by saying that it teaches people to gossip? Why is he trying to pin my church to this anyway? There's nothing wrong with my church. We're sound-minded people, and we don't advocate mad rituals like cutting ourselves with glass shards. It's almost as if he hates my church.

Sad. He's not in my church, so he decides to poke as many holes in the church that he can find, hoping that I will lose faith in the church, and soon thereafter, in God. After all, his advice is to,"Know what you are believing in." Can you presume to know how God works when his ways are beyond ours?

His ultimate goal, as far as I can see, is to uplift the "illusion of faith" from me and my brothers, like his wife did unto him. Now I know that he is a true atheist.

It's frustrating, really, when someone close to you fails to see your point of view to the level where they try to subtly change yours because they'd rather suffer a terrible bout of constipation than concede that you are right this time. The best part is that he attended church regularly before he met his wife.

If he was an average Joe, I would have detached from him a long time ago, but obviously I can't. He's my dad. But his wife.... Grooh! The fairytales got it right. Stepmothers are always evil. I fear that I may end up resenting my dad for being so easily swayed by his wife, even though hate is never a good answer. It's that woman, darn it!

I want to believe that his wife's mind can be changed because it would change my dad's, but that ship has pretty much sailed. Will my dad be saved? The tear-wrenching answer is "No".

Unless God gives the increase. Miracles still happen where there is faith.

Okay, that's damn drama. Plus it's getting unusually late. Blast, it's 4am already. I HAVE to sleep earlier...

Okay, time to sleep. Good night, spies... or good day, if you had slept before 4. Whatever.

A quick thought

2007-11-20T02:17:00.000-08:00

Have you ever wondered why jokes about dumb men are extremely common? There are blonde jokes, racist jokes, even jokes about famous presidents, and, well, men jokes. Strangely, there are no dumb women jokes which should come in parallel with dumb men jokes. Where are the dumb women jokes?

What do dumb men jokes signify? Are men really stupid that jokes made on them go without any uproar by the men? Boys are taught to be strong, not cry, stuff like that. That's not an excuse to make dumb men jokes.

Before I cause the female community to take up arms to have me drawn and quartered, I want to underline my utmost respect for women. They, like men, are people in their own right. I have girl friends (note the space) myself that I regularly socialise with, and interacting with them has brought me to respect the opposite sex. I simply want to outline the feminist racism denoted in the absence of dumb women jokes and the disproportionate abundance of dumb men jokes.

To explain, I shall go with an example. A caption on a Hallmark card reads "Men keep complaining that women are suffocating them too much." If you turn the card, another line reads, "Honestly, if you can hear them under the pillow, you're not pressing down hard enough." Maybe not word for word, but you get the idea. A joke about suffocating men becomes a Hallmark card. So where are the Hallmark cards with women jokes? They don't exist!

It's just a quick thought. No need to pursue this matter to the ends of the Earth. You will end up burned out, and that's rather dumb because it's the holidays. Nobody burns out because of a holiday. If someone does, then it's not a holiday for him anymore. I am sure you would want to go back to school at the end of the day and say to yourself "That was a good holiday", right? Right?

Right.

Alright, once again, it is late. Good night, spies. Darn! I gotta slp sooner...

Post 117

2007-11-19T00:57:00.000-08:00

Halo fans would know why 117 is so special. But never mind that.

Something funny happened to me on Saturday. Since I am bored, I shall graciously blog about it.

I ripped my pants. In public.

Okay, maybe it wasn't that kind of 'ripped my pants'. They were shorts (or berms? could never tell), and it was in an underground carpark at Sim Lim. I was walking along innocently when ~rip~ I heard something. I looked down and I saw my shorts/berms. I didn't see the rip. 6 inches long, and I didn't see it. So I walked along, thinking that my shorts/berms just caught onto a car number plate without suffering so much as a tiny nick. Darn number plate. There used to be only a small hole there. A relic of Orientation Day. Only about 45 minutes later did I realise that the small hole expanded thanks to that darn plate. Oh yeah.

The rip was on the left leg. Nowhere near the middle. Don't get any funny ideas. I still have to take them shorts off when nature calls.

So I got the rip stitched. All is well now. Although I liked that small hole...

Apart from this post being conveniently the 117th post (Gosh, have I blogged that long?), I named this post 117 because I have grown to like Halo a fair bit. Although I cannot stand playing an FPS on Xbox. Therefore I conveniently get Halo PC, and am slated to get Halo2 on PC... not sure when, but mark my words, I will get it! Someday!

Ah well, I'm tired. Good night, spies.

Inebriated

2007-11-17T21:54:00.000-08:00

That's what I feel. I don't feel anything, as if time has slowed down. I laugh at practically anything. I fleetingly describe myself as mad. On top of that, I have tried to identify people by their IP addresses when the IP addresses keep changing (thanks to wireless, which conveniently changes the IP address every time they reconnect), making it pretty stupid.

In short, I'm bored.

Well, since I'm bored, I shall post some song lyrics here. They might describe you, or they may not. Whatever, I'm bored. I'm just gonna post. Don't ask why, who, what, where, when-- why am I even saying this? Oh yeah. I'm bored. Ok, here it is. It's kinda rap-like, so it's quite wordy, but let's face it. I'm bored. Besides, I took hours to decide what song to put up here, partly because I'm bored.

Faint
(Linkin Park. I like the music)
I am a little bit of loneliness, a little bit of disregard

Handful of complaints but I can’t help the fact that everyone can see these scars
I am what I want you to want, what I want you to feel
But it's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you, to just believe this is real
So I let go, watching you, turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I got

I can't feel the way I did before
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
Time won't heal this damage anymore
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored

I am a little bit insecure, a little unconfident
Cause you don't understand I do what I can but sometimes I don't make sense
I am what you never wanna say, but I've never had a doubt
It's like no matter what I do I can't convince you for once just to hear me out
So I let go watching you turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I've got

I can't feel the way I did before

Don't turn your back on me

I won't be ignored

Time won't heal this damage anymore

Don't turn your back on me

I won't be ignored

And then there's the bridge... And more chorus... If I continued, this post would make me feel even more bored, so.. Good evening, spies.

Hm, I said "I'm bored" 7 times total now. LoL. It's so fun. I'm not bored anymore.

.a All*s

2007-11-16T00:35:00.000-08:00

If you know what that is, you must be even more bored than me, or you play too much LAN.

What is the meaning of life? No, not 42, you fool. What is the purpose of life? Why do we slog it all out in the world, working and working till we die? We spend the better bit of our lives in the working world, just working and working and working until we either have children earning enough to support us (through working) or until we work enough to make our working bosses happy to give us a pension, as a reward for our faithful servitude. Or until we die. What do we gain?

Working hard serves many purposes in the short run, that's for sure. We get a sense of completion after a long day's work. In the working world, we can feel happy that our children will lead secure futures thanks to earning enough money. We might even earn enough to go on shopping sprees, or even to buy that Lamborghini you always wanted. We draw happiness from the rewards of working. But being happiness is like taking drugs. Not in a degrading way, but you get the idea. You get happy for a while, and then it's life as usual.

So is what we are doomed to? Work to the death? Isn't there some sort of higher existence, or some sort of higher calling? If what we did while we are alive does not matter, then we can do whatever we want because whether we played nice or not does not matter. We could do all the drugs, have all the sex we want, shoot all the people we don't like, and it still won't matter at all because, just like the good guys, we're gonna die anyway. If so, then everyone should all be having sex, gunning each other down, and doing drugs because it won't matter. It sounds selfish, but then again, society itself IS rather selfish. Besides, it won't matter if you're selfish or not because you're gonna die anyway.

On the other hand, there COULD be a higher level of existence. It's called religion. Many people profess to have one. An omnipotent, omnipresent celestial being that watches over your every move, knows your every thought before you even think them, who for some reason, scientists still cannot find or observe directly today. Apparently, God has stumped the scientists, leading them to believe that there is no God because they can't see him. I believe that God is like the wind. You can't see the wind, but you can feel the wind on your face. You can see dust bunnies bounce along the ground because of the wind.

So do you choose to believe if there is a God? If no, and it turns out that there is indeed no God, then you are right and I am wrong, and we end up with the same fate. But if there is a God, I get eternal life and you die. That's a chance I'm not willing to take.

By the way, this is in no way a comprehensive, conclusive write-up. If you cannot sleep because of whatever I have written, know that it's my honest opinion, but that's not an excuse to rally people to storm my house with guns and knives to get me, because I'll be on a plane to somewhere far far away if that happens. Besides, you'll all get arrested for rioting. You wouldn't want that, would you?

Although a simple tag to express your disapproval does well enough.

Well, once again, it is late. Good night, spies.

Blue Green Red

2007-11-15T01:45:00.000-08:00

No prizes for guessing what's on today.

Girls sees boy. Girl fancies boy. Now boy either fancies girl too or is too blur slash bochup to notice her, or simply doesn't fancy her yet. Now girl gives boy a 2 second gaze, long enough for boy to notice, before girl looks away as if nothing happened. Repeat gaze about 2 to 4 times. Now boy unconsciously thinks girl fancies him, and approaches her to engage in conversation, usually involving random things in an attempt to familiarise themselves with each other. A seed has thus been planted.

If only all relationships that started this way were successful. The world would face overpopulation, so thankfully not all relationships get the romantic ending. Especially the guy-guy or girl-girl relationships...

Some small part of me (Which every guy should have) is complaining that I my romantic life is non-existent, so I think that I will blog about it. Boil it down to jealousy or something. Or maybe I'm just bored.

Why do we suddenly like members of the opposite sex, after years of fearing or dissociating from them, as we used to? If you've never thought about it before, maybe you should give it a thought. After all, most of you spies ARE experiencing it even now. Even now, some have attained some level of satisfaction to this queer craving. I see them, and stun. Would I follow them soon? Nah.

They have their fun, it's not my problem.

I was talking to my cousin, and he said that,"JC period is the time where people do their practice runs (BGR-wise)" LoL. Does that mean that they're gonna break up when the A's are over? Some might, some might not. If you ask me, relationships require two things to succeed:

1: Constant close contact with one another. This would explain why bosses and their secretaries can end up marrying each other. I like that. The secretary becomes rich, and the boss won't need to pay his secretary.

2: Constant interaction with one another. This could be through peer tutoring or just by chatting with each other about anything everyday. There is constant interaction thus, and the two get to know each other more. Think "The Sims".

Most importantly, you must have both for the relationship to even have any chance of success. Having either one does nothing. That said, why do I still not have a special friend, even though I have done the above with quite a few girls?

My body language book can help. "The bottom line is that when a person wants to attract the opposite sex they do so by emphasising sexual differences. To discourage the opposite sex we play down or hide these differences."

Perhaps I, in my bid not to be extremely picky over girlfriends even when I want one anyway, end up assuming a negative attitude towards girls in general, and discourage any form of relationship with girls. The result is a sudden lack of socialising as girls perceive me as cold. Woe is me.

As to why I am extremely picky over girlfriends, I am afraid that that is something that I have to refrain from divulging. In short, mind your own business. Shoo, scat, run along now. I don't need spies entering every crevice of my personal life, down to the number of shirts in my cupboard.

Well, it's getting late now. By right, I shouldn't even be awake, but nobody's scolding me, so all is well. Good night, spies.

Insanity

2007-11-13T15:20:00.000-08:00

I think I must be going mad or something.

Playing computer at home like a mindless robot does things to you, I guess. As far as the game is concerned, there's only me and them. No hard feelings. No feelings at all either. How sad.

On a side note, you should try this game "Insaniquarium". Looks easy at first, but after a while it becomes slightly insane. It also spoils your mouse though, so buy a cheap mouse before playing. Try it. But don't say I didn't warn you about the mouse...

I went to LAN with my brother today, and I learned one simple thing, if any: If the monitor looks crappy, DON'T TAKE IT! My computer was lagging like crap while all the other comps ran like water or something. Made me bleed ten cents just trying to exit the game. You know how much 10 cents can get you? Well.. maybe not much, but 10 cents is 10 cents!

Well, the holidays are rather uneventful for me... I'm starting to feel that school was better... Nah. Good day, spies.

Senselessness

2007-11-12T00:12:00.000-08:00

I am sorry for acting impulsively. This apology probably won't help because the damage is already done, and some of you would feel flamed or convicted by my previous post, but I still apologise anyway.

Telling off others while being in every way politically incorrect and being hated for it is one thing. But self-glorification? That was pure mistake. Perhaps I have intoxicated myself with self-proclaimed righteousness to the point where I overtly express my view of where the world is going, and exert that idea on my class. But I forgot.

A blog is not an attack base. It is a website where everything under the sun can be talked about, from your day out to even metrosexuality.

So I would like to say that I made a mistake in writing about my chalet trip. Especially since people are not inherently bad. Indeed there are unpleasant bits of me that I still have to iron out. Being snide and thoughtless is my bit. Maybe you too have unpleasant bits to work through. We're not perfect, after all.

I hope that this dastardly event has not taught only me a lesson.

So to conclude, next time, I'll tell it to everyone in their faces instead of hiding behind the computer, so that they can slap me instead of resorting to flaming me on online forums, and eventually going out on a witch hunt to pike me. I may get hurt, but that's better than being piked and flamed.

Well, that's that. I don't think that I should brood on this, now that I've gotten so worked up on this. Good evening, spies. Oh, and I don't think that I will pull down my previous post. That's just cowardly.

The Boy, the Girl, and the 2-storey Chalet

2007-11-10T20:09:00.000-08:00

Hm. Hrm.

I have indeed learned much from this class thing, where they all gather in a chalet for 2 nights straight just to make merry for having finished the school year.

I have seen them for what they could really be.

Do I really want to make these people my good friends, my confidantes? It seems difficult for me to accept these people into my inner social circle now not just because of what they are not only capable of doing, but because I realise now that they are willing to do them.

To have boys sleeping in the same room as girls (and vice versa) is one thing, and I suppose that one eye could be closed. After all, there WAS an absolute lack of space, therefore leading the girls to take up the proper beds and leave the guys to eke out a meagre sleep off couch cushions and sleeping bags. It is also on this same excuse that we can tolerate a guy sleeping conveniently next to a girl, side by side.

But what I fail to understand is why people have to intoxicate themselves in the name of social entertainment. I didn't come to a chalet to see my classmates indulge themselves. So much for good, clean fun.

I can hear your clients protesting to me,"But you didn't get involved, so what's your problem? They're just having fun their way. Taking disgust to it should be your own business, so keep it to yourself." Well, I can't change you people, that's for sure, but I can express my dissatisfaction over the issue because it will influence me eventually. Soon enough I will be joining in to play "Spin the Bottle", and getting myself drunk.

"It's just a small drink"? Well, one drink turns into two, two turns into three... Besides, I don't think I want to take that chance.

Perhaps I am taking this with an extremely righteous tone. It's the way I see it. Don't go around flaming me on forums because of my take on this.

I left the chalet with a tinge of disappointment. Disappointed that my class was not as morally grounded as I expected. Yet I also left with a sense of hope. That one day I might be able to save even a little piece of that society. But I mainly left as a tired person. 7 hours of improper sleep for 2 days does things to you.

So should I continue with these people? I am to continue working with them, as my class obviously has not changed; I am attached to these people for another year. But should I continue being open to them, listening to what they have to say, following them and doing the things they do? To this I am quite divided.

Afterthought: "Bad company corrupts good character." (1 Corinthians 15:33)

I fail to see how I can continue ranting from here. Good evening, spies. Perhaps you too will "Save yourselves from this perverse generation" (Acts 2:40). Think about it, if your primitive spy brain can.

Outage

2007-11-06T20:22:00.000-08:00

Looks like I'll be out for 2 days straight. How convenient. I can blog just in time after that.

I've been reading this other book. "Bringing Up Boys" by Dr. James Dobson. A must-read for to-be-mothers of sons (No, I am not a girl) and generally everyone because of the subject matter, which deals a lot with society's bearing down on boys and girls. Here is an excerpt:

"It is impossible to understand what is happening to our kids today, both male and female, without considering the influence of feminist ideology. Swirling out of it was an attack on the very essence of masculinity. Everything that had been associated with maleness was subjected to scorn. Men who clung on to traditional roles and conservative attitudes were said to be too "macho". If they foolishly tried to open doors for ladies or gave them their seats on subways, as their fathers had done, they were called "male chauvinist pigs". Women presented themselves as victims who were "not gonna take it anymore," and men were said to be heartless opressors who had abused and exploited womankind for centuries."

Yup, quite interesting, you should try looking for it in the bookshop, because it's truly a page turner.

Well, I am off to an outing now. Do not worry, I will be back. Eventually. Don't leave the lights off. I might have gone out to sneak into your houses to knife you in the back.

But then again, maybe not.

Now the hols begin

2007-11-05T16:27:00.000-08:00

For me, at least.

6 days of brewing in stress, all dispelled in one minute. A simple phone call ended it.

I have successfully appealed.

But the costs were high. Alas, I have to attain straight Bs for my J2 terms. My social life has been shot, beheaded, and finally raped upside down. I will slowly become a true nerd because of my desperation to retain.

Come to think of it, the school loves the title of "value-addedness". Bah. The sneaky bureaucrats. They're everywhere. They know that we love our 4H2 subjects, so they take advantage of it to increase their value-addedness by setting super high goals for us. The sly decadent~

All right, let's move on.

My contacts tell me that some spies are gathering in a chalet on the 7th. Perhaps it is a spy gathering to discuss how to spy on poor victims like me even better. Very well, I shall infiltrate their ranks and unravel their trade secrets in order to put a stop to all this espionage. Wait, hang on, you're all reading this. My plan is foiled! Darn it!

Well, I shall log off now. Good day, spies. I shall send an army of killer robots to your doorway. Then all your base are belong to me. Kekeke..

Holding my Breath

2007-11-03T09:42:00.000-07:00

Practicing, you know. You should try it too. One day someone might try to drown you. Anyway...

With the holidays in full swing now, you would think that I would be hanging out along Orchard Road with friends, chilling, grooving, and doing other things to which I cannot come up with any more corny words to describe. But no, I am stewing at home in stress because of my downgrade appeal, which has up to now failed to reach the HoD because either he was not at school to receive the appeal letter, which I absolutely doubt because I saw him there myself, or the General Office is more inefficient than I expected. Since I just explained how the former is impossible, I think the General Office people don't do a good job. We should sack them and hire goblins to do the lackey work instead. Darned appeal has caused me so much pain.

That's it. I'm going out, and there's nothing anyone can do to stop me except myself, because...

WHERE on Earth should I go to?!?!

I think that to myself, and decide that staying at home is most cost-efficient. After all, going out with nobody sounds anti-social too since you're not gonna talk to anybody anyway. Except the cashier at that store, or the coffeeshop aunty, or...

Oh well, I am going to continue stewing in stress. Good day, spies.

Holiday Purpose

2007-10-31T06:23:00.000-07:00

Aren't holidays solely for enjoyment? Why then are people studying during the holidays? If they enjoy their studies, that's another story, but many people don't enjoy studying. What defines a holiday by MOE standards, or otherwise? To this there is no good answer.

Yesterday was an interesting day, even though I never got to fully view it. I'm not a fan of photos, as you can see from my somewhat wordy entries, but I'm gonna break that just for today.

Well, BJ is once again alone with the girls, so he has reason to be smiling. And...

Goodness. Meryl's licking her lips. Sad. She probably secretly likes BJ, but it looks like he's already taken by someone. Not me ah, but you get the idea. Posing for the camera ever so seductively knowing that he will see the photo. Gosh, how devious.

I got the strangest news today. I have to downgrade. So how? Cry. No, I go to complain instead. The HOD, I tell you. It was obvious he wanted his lunch, because he was using all kinds of words and gestures to incriminate and discourage me from not downgrading. Top that with a frustrated and aggressive tone, and it was super obvious that he wanted me to get lost.

Maybe he should have given me less condemning comments, and instead ask me to come tomorrow because he is busy. Duh. As if the holidays cannot wait one more day after all the homework they dished out to us.

But then again, he has probably seen the same sob story over and over again. Or he is probably hiding behind the national policy. Seeing the same sob story again and again does things to you. Maybe he has just shut off. No walking through him for appeals. I therefore should face reality and call it a day or something like that.

But I'm not giving up.

Not yet, at least. I've got one more chance.

I'm appealing again tomorrow. Second impression never works, but this time, HOPEFULLY he won't be facing a day of meetings. I WILL have this meeting, and I WILL walk out with my 4H2.

Unless God says otherwise. Who am I to oppose His will?

Well, if I fail tomorrow... No use crying over spilt milk. Move on from there. Life will be beautiful once again.

Okay, enough emo-ing. Emo-ing is a sad thing to do. Therefore...

I'm gonna play CS now. Good evening, spies. Oh yeah...

Thx PJ.

Blog wireless

2007-10-29T15:06:00.000-07:00

Oh yes. That I can do.

While I am stoning away at school with Soe Min's laptop, I am blogging. It was either this or stoning anyway. Hmm, stone with Soe Min...

This little stunt, apparently, has proved something though. Something that I have not proven before, or thought about proving because it is too dumb and pointless to prove, but anyway...

I can blog anywhere. Whoa.

In fact, I'm still wondering what I am doing in school. I was SUPPOSED to do PW, but no... I could be at home instead, napping or playing CS, of which I seem to be losing skill in because I prefer CS over napping. Oh well, it's give or take in life, I guess.

Oh well, I think I will end off here, because I have a stinging feeling that everyone's watching me blog. That gives the impression that spies can actually tell their clients about what I am going to blog long before I can blog it. It's like you can read my mind! It's a scary thought. I think I'm gonna end off here. Good evening, spies. You will never read my mind! Muahahaha. ha.

Mind Reading

2007-10-27T20:36:00.000-07:00

The following is an excerpt from "The Definitive Book of Body Language" by Allan and Barbara Pease. It's good reading, I suggest you check it out.

"Research shows that men tend to mistake friendliness and smiling for sexual interest..."

Ouch. I misunderstand girls. That explains a lot. Looking further...

"This is because men see the world in more sexual terms than women; men have 10 to 20 times more testosterone than women, which makes them see the world in terms of sex"

You know, I hope I'm not making fun of myself by quoting this book, because I was complaining about girls only a few days ago. So is it MY fault that I fear girls, or is it something all in my head? I think it's all just in my head.

So how can I draw wisdom from this? Hm.

I.. wait, not just me, GUYS in general, should attempt to consider the laugh she makes or that smile she throws at them. It rarely means "I wanna be your girlfriend!" Unless she starts to let you rummage through her bag and points her knee towards you. THEN you start wondering if she really likes you because those actions are courtship signals. Yep, I'm beginning to like this book.

The moral of the story? I have a book which can expose what is on your mind, if I learn from it well enough. Watch your body actions because I will know if you don't like my face, or got the hots for me, or if you're LYING to me, all through the way you conduct yourself.

All the world IS a stage after all.

I conclude this entry here. Good evening, spies. Tell your clients to be afraid. Be very afraid now that I can read them...

School is insufficient.

2007-10-25T22:08:00.000-07:00

But that does not mean that we must be given holiday homework.

Why do people give holiday homework anyway? We have 2 months of holiday, and they must ruin it all by giving us silly assignments to do. That removes 1 week of holiday. Shouldn't they give us one extra week to cover up? Hmph.

Well, I just woke up again, so I can't think of anything innovative to place here today. Therefore I shall write up a poem. I hope you all can keep up.

Too little, but not too late

Who wants to live? If you count, there is many
But their unwitting wish to die is quite uncanny
No one can blame them, they know not the problem
They just don't know what's coming for them

There is a group of people who profess
To be avid in their faith, and feel blessed
But when you watch them, you know their work
Is their center, with belief they are not concerned.

"Look up! Open your eyes! See the world's plight!"
But what's the point; you're all blind
To the stark truth which stares you in the eye
That one day everyone's going to die.

Dying is one thing, it's called "the first death"
Which comes, just as the sands of time flow
Call me mad, but when you are taken hence
What happens to you, where will you go?

Your life will dictate your destiny
What your goal shall, in the end, be
So what is your goal, Heaven or Hell?
Will you reach it? Only time will tell.

Or is it? What will you do to ensure
Your salvation, so that you won't burn
Will you do good, build for the poor huts
To score points high up, and buy your way up?

Live in fear all you like, but to reach paradise
You can't do it by your power, through a good deed
You must bring yourself to realise
That it is God that you need

Sure, by grace you have been saved
The way to Heaven is marked and paved
But they conveniently forget John 3:5
They should read it, before they think it's all fine

How many deeds more to Heaven? Too many
Which is why I want to show the message to plenty
But you all don't listen, nobody wants to see
"Keep your minds open!" That is my plea.

Well, I won't ramble purposefully anymore... Good evening, spies.

Apprehension

2007-10-23T20:13:00.000-07:00

I have once again fallen into deep thought.

Every time I go to school, I fall into a session of stress. Amazingly, I find some degree of solace in CLB, and my blood pressure falls after I leave school to reach home. This has been going on for about since the very first day I came to JC. And the stress level has always taken a minimum throughout the year. Puzzling...

It didn't exist last year. Or the year before. Not in a chronic manner, at least.

What would trigger such a chronic illness? Toxin in the paint? Can't be. People would give up on classes because they would be too stressed, and everyone would drop out of school for homeschooling instead. School bully? Can't be. Nobody gets whacked up without proper justice exacted on the perpetrator. Or at lease nobody I know of. Sianz.

How about fear? Pretty much. We all have fears, and draw stress from them. Stress from the game is induced from the fear of losing the game. Without that stress, we would all anyhow play the game because whoever wins does not matter at all to us. Fear therefore leads to stress.

So what do I fear?! Gah.

Hrm... wait.

Hang on. JC is co-ed. Ahh, darn. I didn't see it before.

GIRLS...

I can't wrap my mind around this problem. I'm not a girl. I can't profess to know the differences between girls and guys. There's just us and them, I guess (There I go, distancing myself from the issue again). I fail to understand girls, not now at least, and probably not in a long time. I guess I can justify my fear in this manner then. Humans always fear what they do not understand.

It sounds pretty dumb though. Girls are still people. They walk, they talk, they even laugh at corny jokes (although I know of some who don't). So what is there to fear? Why do I not understand them, or perhaps do my best not to bother? To this, I can think of only one answer.

I am afraid of falling for girls. Perhaps because of what can happen. What a shame. People that I could have been chatting freely with are instead consciously avoided by me because of my fear. Apprehension toward a bugbear of sorts. A bugbear to me at least.

Why should I fear falling for girls anyway? It's not something you would fear like a fear of stepping on chicken poop. To this I have two separate answers.

One: I have had prior experience. No more comment. All I'm gonna say now is that lust is a strong force, and trifling with it is for n00bs.

Two: I love my faith. So you ask, "Where's the logic?" Say I get a Buddhist girlfriend. Love grows, I get married. So which religion is the family gonna follow? Where are the kids gonna worship? The church or the temple? OR BOTH? Clash of religion is a very big thing. Best not to mess with it. And don't get me started on today's range of Christians...

So what does this matter? It simply means that I will always maintain a level of stiffness in front of girls. Although there is this one who for some strange reason does not affect me. I will not point fingers or anything, but if you know who you are and you read this entry, then don't be disheartened. You are... well, let's not say 'special', that sounds romantic... You're unique, then. You should feel honoured.

All right, I have plenty more to say, but for practical purposes, I shall interrupt this to end off. Good evening, spies. I will bear down upon you with a chainsaw. Blood will cover the walls, and I will be left standing, laughing my evil laugh. Muahahaha. Aha. Aha.

Deviator

2007-10-22T23:15:00.000-07:00

I have decided to talk about a silly GP Question, in lieu of my fellow victim's post. Feel free to call it an opposing viewpoint, because I really don't care. I'm just posting here so you spies can read until your heads explode.

"Would you say that you deviate or conform to the general rules of society?"

So what are the general rules of society? Let me lay out some of the more obvious ones first.
1- Thou shalt not kill.
2- No whacking up of anyone.
3- No running around naked.

So far, I haven't killed anything... Fine, maybe flies which bother me, and all cockroaches which come my way at home. But no, I do not recall killing. One point for me then. I do not recall whacking up anyone.. much. But I haven't really beaten up anyone because nobody has bothered me enough to exact such a violent response. Neither have I run around naked. What a revolting thought.

Does that make me a conformist then? Not really. I feel that this question would have most people saying "Conform" rather than "Deviate" irregardless of their conformist/deviant nature, because it's very hard to deviate and at the same time stay morally sound to the rest of the world. The deviator would be a very lonely person, and die a quiet death all by himself. So...

I feel that this is a pretty rhetorical question. Why should I even worry about it?

Sure, we conform. We wear clothes. We don't run around with knives in our hands. We don't slay each other in the name of peace. We have friends who share common interests with us. It's inherent to humans. We must find a niche of society where we can be accepted as we are, if not we will kill ourselves softly. Then you will have suicidal emo kidz everywhere. Yes, people are, generally speaking, conformers, because we are wired to conform to a certain degree.

On the other hand, we are also deviants in our own right. One person juggles for a living. She's a clown. Another solves the Rubik's cube within a minute. He's a nerd. Yet another crushes bitter plants to concoct equally bitter medicine. She's a TCM doctor. Another kicks balls for a living. He's Ronaldinho.

Aren't we all special one way or another? How many people can solve the Rubik's cube under a minute? How many people kick balls for a living? Hundreds, thousands maybe. Compare that to 6 billion people living on this green (although that's gonna change by the looks of it) Earth. Cutting out the Third World, that still leaves a super-large amount of people, going into the billions. One-millionth of the world kick balls for a living. Less than one-millionth can solve the Rubik's cube within a minute.

Don't they deviate enough? They create their own society which does not fully conform to society in general, fine. That doesn't mean they aren't special. It just means that they want to be accepted in a society. It does not mean that they conform, per se. The very act of joining that society is an act of deviation from normal society.

So we conform to a certain degree, yet we deviate in that we all have special capabilities inherent to us. Go figure.

Well, I can't think of any more things to bicker over. Good evening, spies. I feel that you all should get some work cut out for yourselves. After all, I might just descend upon you, with an evil glint in my eyes. Then I WILL begin to deviate from the general rules of society.

Halo on your iPod

2007-10-21T00:43:00.000-07:00

I thank my brother for this lame concept.

Games can be found in the most unexpected of places. Think about it. You can find games in devices which are becoming smaller and smaller. Game Boy SP, PSP, even on your iPod.

You also have heard of third-party programs and stuff which can fix your iPod to do tasks which are otherwise impossible without those programs. Like using it as an external hard drive, and so on.

What if we combined these ideas?

It's not that bad, you know. So many people use their delicate iPods with appropriate tender loving care, and games are being loved more and more. Why not bring these games to the people through the iPods they have come to treasure?

However, this poses problems. Firstly, how do people play games on their iPod? There are so few keys, so it's hard to give much interactivity or action on the iPod. Furthermore, the iPod would have to be able to stand on its own in order for the player to play properly.

Enter the realm of add-ons. A 3-legged easel-like stand can be used to support the iPod on itself. The iPod is now called a triPod. To give extra interactivity, a special energy-efficient, high response keyboard is connected to the iPod's USB port.

That's not all. The games you can put on your iPod vary like crazy, thanks to the iPod's large storage space (About 20GB, if I recall).

Super Mario Land, bah. Solitaire? Been there, done that. Games like LF2 can be installed onto the iPod, giving the iPod that extra oomph. Old school keyboard games not your thing? Make way for Halo 3, where the intense action-packed shooting will leave you breathless. Of course, long-range shooting might be a problem, but that's why we have a zoom function. No mouse? That's okay. Plug in the iPort, a multi-USB port for the iPod, then plug in your mouse. No worries there.

Scared of battery dying? That's why we have add-ons. The iCell is a spare battery which is attached to the back of the iPod (works with triPod, obviously). Simply slap it there, and your iPod works twice as long. Or you could just simply plug your iPod into a charger.

Not enough space for games? Enter the iSpam, an external hard drive made JUST for the triPod. Plug it in, and your triPod now has 100GB more space, thanks to cutting-edge blu-ray technology. I love blu-ray.

SCREEN TOO SMALL? Enter the iHolo, an ingenious product which is still not fully understood by mankind. How it works (or at least what it says on the box) is through use of quantum physics. You attach the iHolo atop your iPod screen. The iHolo then is connected via a quantum gateway to the iPod CPU, and overrides your iPod screen to become the video output medium. (Understand? No? Too bad.) It then spews particles at various quantum energy levels so that they light up different areas ABOVE the iHolo. The result? An iHologram. And the iHologram can vary in size e.g. 17 inch, 19 inch. Yup, the iHolo is a quantum PC monitor. But it only works for the iPod.

Still don't want to buy an iPod? If you want to buy an iPod simply because of what I have said here, don't. Why?

It's all trash. Duh. Although I wish there was really such a thing as an iHolo for PC. THAT would be good.

Well, I'm satisfied now. Good evening, spies. Don't stay awake until death comes to your red-eyed, crazed shell of a human being.

100th Post

2007-10-19T20:16:00.000-07:00

Wow, milestones converge here. The promo papers have just been returned and I am writing my 100th post. I am really enjoying this.

My results were a slight shock, though. U for Econs? Not unexpected, but it's just so "DOOH!"

On top of that... I got a B for Maths.

I have been an 'A' student when it comes to Maths all the way. From P1 to Olvls. And now this. I think I'm gonna brood over this for awhile.... hrm... wait. A Maths was like this too.

Oh well, I think I won't brood over this small pitfall. Moving on.

In lieu of the down faces throughout classes beyond (non-inclusive of the smiling ones in the SC1/SA1 classes), I will attempt, I repeat, ATTEMPT, to cheer up whoever reads this. If you feel worse because of this, then I will stop blogging. It's that simple. Besides, having 100 posts sounds so... complete. jkjk.

I was thinking about the nature of the promos, and it appears to be that the promos are designed to test, not to certify. That means that whatever the results of the promos, nothing can happen to you in the end of the day. Break even for this little trial and you will be fine.

Hm. This little piece cannot please everyone, so it seems. Guess I can't please everyone...

To those who look at their friend and go "GOD, I wish I had more marks", first I say "Don't swear." Second, I would think that they are quite competitive. Who isn't in this meritocratic society? Everyone has to claw their way to the top, or rather, to be the highest. In this way, the standards have to be raised further and further as people begin to feel the squeeze from working harder and harder. So yeah, if you are tormented by your results, you can safely blame the system for setting the bar too high. You can go ahead and scream into the air,"I HATE YOU, MERITOCRACY!!", or continue crying. I am in no position to demand either anyway.

These competitive people are like dogs chasing their tails. They chase for a goal which becomes harder and harder to get. A race to the top, no less. But what is on top? On top of that, do we want to forever remain in competition? Are we robots in that we exist to compete with one another? Do we pride in beating each other so much that we forsake almost all else? To those who simply pride themselves in their work, they have their reward in full. A piece of paper which says 95/100, which is as valuable as one which says 71/100 because they both count as A's at the end of the day. Slow down and smell the fart! So what if your friend beat you in econs or chem? Know where you stand, and build on where you fall. But next time. We have a holiday to look forward to.

What of people who look at their paper and say things like "Darn! Careless lah!" or "If I had used another word, it would have given me that extra mark. Sian..."? Stop. Consider your mental status during the exam and now. Exam stress is very real, and it really does things to you. You WILL make careless mistakes and you WILL lose marks thanks to not using that certain word. It is human. I myself somehow turned my Ss into Dd. I assume that everyone reading this is human. So don't cry, and don't slay your brain over that missing mark. It's not gonna go away. Laugh at yourself for making that booboo and move on.

Just don't do it again, I think.

Oh yeah, before I forget. Smile. It works on others. They will slowly smile back, and then it will work on you too. So what goes around comes around.

As for me...

I know my mistakes. Brooding over them helps nothing, so I look at them, think to myself,"Point taken," and move on. No regrets.

Besides, my results were, and still are, in God's hands. I know this, for I put them there.

Maybe you should do the same too. After all, the actual grade hasn't come out yet...

Oh well.

Good night, spies. I hope this has helped your clients one way or another. If not, I will attack you with jumper wires. Like some shock therapy?

Darn, they're not live.

Impersonal

2007-10-18T00:18:00.000-07:00

For this entry, I would like to cash in on a fellow victim's rantings (Thanks, Wei Hong.)

" Because i feel that this online things never really convey the real personality and character of a person"

Putting aside the obvious english error which would have made a GP teacher balk, I have to absolutely agree with this statement. People, naïve as they are, will always show their best whenever presenting themselves to society. Only when they are surrounded exclusively by those close to them do they really reveal their true selves; when they let up on their act. This is evident in family, and sometimes within BGR too (pipipi). But blogs cannot achieve such things. They're online, so any random person can read them. Duh.

But if they don't know they exist, they won't read them. So in a small way blogs are exclusive because people will only read them if you let them know they exist. Ergo, you can make your blogs almost private.

But would one spill all of his/her secrets onto a blog that can potentially be seen by the world? The risks are far too great, which is why everyone still puts on a mask whenever they blog. Like me.

Hai. I'm talking about myself again. Me. And me. And me, and me...

"The good thing about being me.. is that there are so many me's" (If you can figure out where this quote came from, you've been watching too many trilogies)

Many a time I (see, talking about myself again) have been faced with a person I thought I knew well enough, yet seems to be a complete stranger. How can I talk to a complete stranger about herself in my statements? For I know little about her. I can't say something like,"How's your sister?" because she DOESN'T have a sister, resulting in me suffering from the self-jacking of the day. We have very little common ground to talk about, being so strange and stuff to each other. Rather than stand there and stone to death, I am compelled to talk about anything, which draws me to the last resort.

I talk about myself. How narcissistic of me.

Well, I would rather not talk further, because I would end up talking about myself even more. Good night, spies. You know, taking a break from spying could do you good. Try blogging. Then I will do the spying instead hehehe...

Insightful

2007-10-16T23:51:00.000-07:00

Good evening, spies. I do not have much time, but since I have gone on a vendetta against short posts, I shall give some nonsense about a completely random topic which I pick off the air, and then call it an evening there.

I have been blogging for a grand total of 7 and a half months now, and I have always blogged from what I thought was relevant (although it seems completely random), or what I felt (ah, that's a word you rarely get flowing from guys) at that time, or what I felt you spies could laugh to death over. After all, if the blog is a weblog where you pen your thoughts, shouldn't you do such things? Hrm.

A blog is an online diary. A diary is where you pen your thoughts which you never tell anyone. On a blog, everyone can see your thoughts. How oxymoronic.

Yet in this generation, it all makes sense. Why?

The youth of today (sounds like GP now). Maybe not just the youth of today, make it teenagers throughout history. Adolescents always have trouble telling people about their problems, or how they feel about something. Therefore, they keep a diary to pen those thoughts out so that they can release all that stress built up from those problems or lack of release. Now IT has brought this one level up. By blogging, youths can pen their thoughts AND tell each other about their problems at the same time. Talk about multi-tasking.

Some people like to hide behind poems, or one-liners which do not make any sense unless you concocted those one-liners yourself. Others pour out their soul onto their blog. I just think. And then build something super cheem so that you will stand in awe, whilst the real meaning behind those insightful words slip away in the radiance of the entry's words of wisdom.

About half my entries have nuances attached to them. Or the theme itself speaks enough about my mental state (no, not mentally deranged, that title's for you) or my opinion. But spies, being dumb as you are, cannot tell which entries are the ones I intend to have significant meaning. Sigh. When will you all learn...

Look at the label things!! You know, the words at the end of every entry which are next to the word "Relatives"! They say 'meaningful' for a reason!!!

Bah, you're all not thinkers. I ask too much of all of you. Thinking is obviously not your thing...

Ahh well, it is finally time to rest. Good night, spy. Perhaps I will brutally kill you with a plastic bag ('Crumple' bag? lol).

To Poke or not To Poke

2007-10-15T00:32:00.000-07:00

Many a time my faith has been challenged by commoner and spy alike. Well, not to say that they are inherently bad for challenging my faith. After all, it is through all this challenging that my belief is only strengthened, but not by my human effort alone. I can understand if people cannot believe what I believe in, since I do not live by what they believe in either. But what I do not understand is why they shut off their minds to my opinion.

But wait a minute. If I shut off their minds to their opinion, does that make me a hypocrite by giving the above statement. Yes. Therefore I conveniently excuse myself from hypocrite status by giving reasons as to why I cannot accept their opinion. I do my best to be fair. I only expect the opposing party to act likewise. "Life's like that" is not an excuse. If it were, camaraderie would not exist, and no one would help each other with their homework. "Life sucks"? That's why we all should do our best to make life a little better than when we found it, unless you're a chauvinist pig of a spy who wants everything to himself (or herself. whatever)

Perhaps they cannot coexist with me in their social circle as long as our ideologies/beliefs clash, therefore they decide to convert me. But our ideologies always will clash, and oftentimes those ideologies are so different that to convert is a leap too large for me (or them) to take.

Yet we still try to convince each other anyway. Despite all this madness, I know my conscience is clear enough.

I believe in my faith. Everyone is entitled to believing theirs. And it is because of this that I know that if you don't want to believe me, then you will shut off.

You know not what you are doing by giving the Message the cold shoulder... Oh well, whatever pleases you.

I want to follow-up on my previous post. Cover ka-chng, if you like.

I did not write what I wrote to please everyone. I wrote it so that whoever read it may understand what being a Christian is, in the right context. It's not even a complete description, but already so many people, as far as I can see, do not even fit what little I have described. How much more would not fit the description if I continue? I myself am still a work in progress.

A Passerby complains that my arguments are inconclusive. I just HAVE to rebut this, so here I go. My viewers have to be considered. Those who lack attention span will take one look at the length of the entry and decide to watch a cooking show instead. In fact, they will not even read up to here because they would have decided to watch their cooking show a long time ago. Therefore my entries have to be short. Yet I have to convey my point through properly to make the essay valid. A balance must be reached thus.

Also notable is that I split my write-up into 3 parts. Yes, splitting the write-up would mean that I can add more info. But if I had split it up even more, the entire write-up's power is lost because few would bother to read the whole thing due to the inconvenience of pressing the 'Older Posts' button. 3 parts sound so complete anyway. Everyone does trilogies. Star Wars (which is really 2 trilogies), Lord of the Rings, they're trilogies which many love. Why can't I have my own trilogy?

Or maybe the passerby cannot believe my statements to whatever I wrote. I have two responses to this thought.

1: "I can help fill in the blanks in my arguments. Maybe you would like to meet up sometime so that this problem can be sorted out?"

2: "NOT MY PROBLEM."

I usually tend towards Response 1, but to venomous people, 2 works better.

All right, I'm gonna blog off here. Good night, spies.

My Honest Opinion Part 3

2007-10-12T20:41:00.000-07:00

Do you like trilogies? I sure do. That's why I think that this unusual series intended to overwork your minds into madness will only extend into 3 parts. I do love trilogies...

Christianity 3

There are many things that people fear about the Holy Spirit. I don't blame them. It is something they do not understand, for they "cannot see him" (Acts 14:17). How do you believe in something you can't see? How do you know you have something that you cannot see? Mark 16 to the rescue here. Jesus said to the Eleven "And these signs will follow those who believe: In My name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues; they will take up serpents; and if they drink anything deadly, it will by no means hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover.” (Mark 16:17-18). The early Church had cast out many demons in Jesus' name and performed healing miracles (Acts 3 is a good example). But today we don't really hear of such things. Plus there are many groups from various religions who all profess to have performed miracles. So who is correct?

Mark 16:17 also says that "they will speak with new tongues", which we can tell from a little brain work, refers to speaking in tongues. Since speaking in tongues is of the Holy Spirit, we can conclude that those who believe have the Holy Spirit, who must also have or are going to be baptised in water. So the church that has it right with God would also be able to speak in tongues. This is an almost definitive statement which categorically separates Christians from non-Christians.

The way to be saved has been explained, if you have been following what this nearly argumentative write-up is saying. Anyway to sum up, you have to:
1: Repent
2: Get Baptised in water
3: Receive the Holy Spirit with the evidence of speaking in tongues
In order to have followed Jesus's commandments in living by the teachings of Jesus, so that you may not incur God's wrath and perish, thus making you Christian.

Now I ask you, the spy, a question that I have been longing to ask for quite a while. Do you still think you're a Christian?

-----------------------------
Okay, that sums up. Although I was planning to add more... Good evening, spies. I hope this has been eye-opening for you. If not, then I say that it's a waste, and you shall surely suffer for your failure (for)evermore.

My Honest Opinion Part 2

2007-10-11T20:47:00.000-07:00

Good evening, spies, and as promised, my philosophical topic has a continuation in this entry. Enjoy. You won't live long enough to though...

Christianity 2

So what defines a Christian as described in The Book? Well, we look to the book of Acts, a historical recount of what happened regarding some of the Early Church's movement. If you have a Bible (The freely distributed Gideons Bible should contain Acts), you can see that much of it is, well, history, but in an attempt to emphasise the point I will highlight a verse. What must a Christian do? Acts 2:38 says "Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit." This is confirmed in other various points in the book of Acts, and a few others as well (Acts 16:30-33, Mark 16:16, to name a few).

This answers one question, but leaves many others. What is this Baptism? And what is this Holy Spirit? How do you know you've got this Holy Spirit? Let us look even further.

Baptism is part of a process in which a person is accepted by God into his Kingdom. Technically speaking, during baptism, a person is fully immersed in water in the name of God, not by sprinkling or by a water hose, as Acts 8:36-38 clearly outlines. If you read it (and you probably won't, lazy spies), you will see that the person went down INTO the water, not get sprayed with water by Peter. Upon baptism, the person should receive the Holy Spirit as well (whether immediately or not, we cannot assume), as we noted from above.

The Holy Spirit was first sent to the early church, and is still being received today by many Christians, as a "Counselor to be with you (the Christian Church) forever" (John 14:16). Most people acknowledge this. However, many people also do not believe that the Holy Spirit is a necessity for going to Heaven. Once again, this is a hard statement, which I will back with strong evidence.

John 3 describes Jesus's encounter with a Pharisee called Nicodemus, where Jesus tells Nicodemus that "no one can enter the Kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit" (John 3:5). If Jesus himself, on which Christianity is very much based on, said that you must be born of water and the Spirit to go to Heaven (The Kingdom of God), then you're STILL in sin until you get baptised (born of water) and get baptised with the Holy Spirit.

Water is pretty obvious. Baptised in the Holy Spirit? What is THAT supposed to mean? We now turn to Acts 1:5 (Jesus was speaking to the early church before he was taken into Heaven) "in a few days you will be baptised with the Holy Spirit". Note the word 'baptised'. At the day of Pentecost, the 120 men who made up the early church were "filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues, as the Spirit enabled them" (Acts 2:4). The Holy Spirit was thus given to the men at the day Pentecost, hence the denomination. The men were given the Holy Spirit, which many people thereafter received as well, suggesting that receiving counts as being baptised (in the context of the Holy Spirit).

I must also note that the men spoke in tongues "As the Spirit enabled them", not because a demon possessed them. We can infer thus that speaking in tongues is of the Holy Spirit, not of the devil, as I once believed.

All right, I think this is enough for now. Goodnight, spies, and keep watching. There will be more coming soon, so don't die yet. Rather, experience a slow burning feeling in your feet as the pain sets in. Do not be alarmed. You will not die...

Quick.

My Honest Opinion Part 1

2007-10-10T23:34:00.000-07:00

Good evening, spies. This is one entry to set you thinking yourselves to death...

And onto the point. I hope you are interested in religion...

Oh yeah, I will be splitting this into 2 or 3 parts in view of peer feedback, so don't flee just yet, you may just survive this one...

Christianity

What is a Christian? The dictionary defines a Christian as one who "lives according to the teachings of Jesus". That given, I want to challenge all those Christian spies. What did Jesus exactly teach? Since there is lots and lots of evidence that the Bible is true(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bible_Prophecy might help a bit here), I shall work through this enigma based on the Bible.

Let us look at a simple verse which could shed light on this. Ephesians 2:8 says that "By grace you have been saved, through faith-and this is not from yourselves, this is the gift of God-" so by basic reading you can see that the Church (It is safe to assume that the Church has accepted Jesus as their Saviour, otherwise why would they even be a church?), to which this verse is addressed to, is saved by grace through faith in God, by God. Therefore by having complete faith in God, you will be saved by His grace.

So does this mean that I can say today "I have faith that God will save me", and go on leading a murderous life? Certainly not. There must be something else which screens out these murderous people, otherwise you will have Christian murderers, which is not what the Bible says a Christian should be.

Well, I would put more, but it would certainly kill you as it would make this entry too long. My mission really is to torture you people into submission. Then I can manipulate your drained minds to turn you all into minimum-wage workers. Because the world needs more of them, but nobody wants to be any of them.

Goodnight, spies. If you all are not dead yet, I hope this entry has given you something to think about then.

Too many problems

2007-10-09T22:36:00.000-07:00

How ironic.

How we all yearn for the end of the examinations because then we can finally take a rest from studying, our one prime problem.

Yet at the end, we are only compounded with more problems. All our problems which seemed minute before suddenly become big. There is a change in focus now, and the problems will never end. When will the world find rest?

Matthew 11:28 (NIV) "Come unto me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

No, certainly not me. Use your brains, if you have any.

Well, I think I am on the short end today, because I can't think of anything appropriately short to put here. I have something in mind to add sometime soon though, so don't cry just yet.

Good evening, spies. I hope you won't do something stupid like die before the upcoming killer entry. It will blow you away. Literally.

Reliability

2007-10-08T00:09:00.000-07:00

Well, if there is one thing I have to say, it would be that even though I decided to form up this blog at first for random reasons that are now irrelevant, that I will never fill this blog with so much as one single-paragraph entry. I despise those. They defeat the purpose of my regular blogging. Having one of those would be an insult to my random-ness, because it would only go to show that my creativity has run out. Plus I cannot kill you spies with all this random nonsense, brain cell by brain cell. Where's the fun in not slowly killing you all?

OK, moving on.

Today abit sian. Wake up early equals not fully wake up, so yeah, you can guess what happens. As you can see, I am running out of time, so without further ado, I will end this discussion of what happened to me today so that I can leave you all in suspense to eventually die.

I think I'll add a little to yesterday's discussion. Little by little. I seriously don't have much time, or much to add for now anyway.

I find that girls, unlike boys, pay a lot of attention to small details. Which is once again, inherent. Girls, being more aesthetically inclined, tend to pay attention to small things which guys like me tend to overlook, or in some cases, blatantly ignore. It's a must. Housewives need this impeccable skill if they're gonna be housewives. If they didn't have this ability, there would be rat crap in the corner of the kitchen, 3-day old meatloaf clogging the sink. The grotesque list goes on. So I lift my hat to girls. The world needs you people.

But the world can't survive without guys either. Don't anyone forget that.

All right, that's a little here. Watch out for a little there sometime soon. Goodnight, spies. I'll be sharpening my penknife. For that grand day when I corner you all...

Beyond Comprehension

2007-10-06T01:41:00.000-07:00

Well, what it says.

Since I had completely nothing to do today save stoning before the computer making a name for myself in the CS:S community and advancing my D2 character a little, I've been doing some thinking. Why do girls do whatever they do? They're not like me, that's for sure. Whether that's good or bad is not for me to decide, but predicting their reaction to any situation is something I have yet to gain any aptitude for. At least they don't laugh one minute and then suddenly give you a tight slap, that's just fickle slash psychotic. What I'm pondering is why they have to react to things which guys take on with a poker face.

Hrm.

Sounds sexist, doesn't it? That's society. Society is sexist, and since society hasn't broken down for as long as these sexist principles have existed (admit it, I don't need to highlight any examples, you can think of at least 3 right now), society should remain conservative to retain the status quo, that is, to keep things as they are since it works. But no, you have groups like the feminists, the Sensitive New Age Guy (SNAG), metrosexuals and homosexuals, who have all done their bit to bend society's unspoken rules and morph it into something else. But hey, that's another story, let's let the GP tutors duke it out on that one.

The gripe I have here is that girls (or gals, if you like) act somewhat less logically than what would make sense to me given the same situation. The degree of this difference ranges. One might make every comment aimed at her personal (No, I'm not pointing fingers here, so don't make it personal either), while another might give her girl friend a hug. No, she's not lesbian, but she still gives a hug to her girl friend. I repeat, girl, friend. I wish not to point fingers, but to those who may or may not feel incriminated or vindicated by this paragraph, don't emo, slit your wrists and die because that's not the way out. What you should to is find a sturdy, thick phone book and go on a witch hunt for me. If that should happen, you can find me on the first flight to Siberia.

Well, this definitely isn't constructive criticism. What CAN be done... Oh yes. Nothing.

WHY? I'll tell you why.

It's inherent. Just like guys look for logic to effect their solutions, girls have their ways to effect their solutions to problems. Either that or they don't even see the problems as separate problems which can be picked off one by one. Because it's not always that simple. Can I solve this problem of understanding how girls' minds operate?

Let's see... What pre-requisites are there to completing this task...

Oh yeah.

1: Hang around girls for a fairly long period of time.
-Hrm... I HAVE been walking around in school and do have girls in my PW groups. Heck, they're everywhere. I can't escape them. Except maybe in CLB hehehe... OK, I get a tick here then.

2: Gain their trust, and listen to what their problems are and assess how they go around solving them.
-Needless to say, I kinda suck here. But my PW group DOES have girls... And we always kena problems. I have often queried their modus operandi, so I guess I could put a tick here.

3: Know what problems exactly are girl-specific, suffice to say, know what a girl suffers in daily life.
-Do I look like a girl to you? Fine, you can't see me, but since I'm not a girl and I don't have a loving girlfriend who would divulge all these deep, dark and terrible secrets either, I'm afraid I can't put a tick here.

4: Be a girl.
-I refuse to comment.

So what does this super-pointless checklist show? That there will probably be only two things beyond my comprehension.

God and girls.

All right, that's a wrap. Good night, spies. Maybe you will have your own blogs too, then I can spy on them...

No hard feelings

2007-10-04T19:40:00.000-07:00

Well, no soft feelings either.

The exams have ended. If it were any other year I have experienced, I would be a very happy person. Not today though. This time it felt like any other day.

Why?

The exams are over. I should at least feel some relief. But no, I feel like I have more problems coming up. Problems that cannot be answered by pen and paper alone. There are duties which I have been given the privilege to carry out, yet I'm still not sure how to go around doing it. People always get in the way. Or at least their thinking gets in the way. But that's another story.

Maybe...

For every other year, there was actually an incentive to finish the exams. That it would all end good. But not this year. My problems extend beyond the question paper now. They now exist in people. And people, respectable as they are, have their own problems too. Should I try to help them solve their problems, or stick in the corner, a silent watcher, as they fumble in the dark to find that which makes them smile?

Then again...

In my attempts to not be just plain selfish, I end up complicating other peoples' lives, and add to their problems. Is this what I would want? I think not...

Or maybe I'm just too scared to even talk to them. Go figure.

Well, it's not over for me now. Looks like it never will be.

On the other hand, I can actually relax at home now, knowing that some killer paper isn't around the corner. I can now focus on these problems I am plagued with, and finish them all off so that I can reach some level of peace. Which probably won't last long because I'll end up finding something else to do with the spare time I will create. This way, I create my own problems. It will never end.

Well, can't do anymore. Good evening, spies.

Pikachu Physics

2007-10-02T18:16:00.000-07:00

Well, out of a sheer spark of inspration, I have decided to blog in today, one whole day early, to discuss physics. But not just ordinary, everyday physics. I want to talk about how physics is relevant in pokémon. Yup, that's correct, pokémon can have physics included as well. And since everyone loves Pikachu and all, I shall blog about physics applied on Pikachu.

Pikachu Physics

Pikachu, like any other pokémon, is a horrid mouse-like creature spawned by certain creative Japanese minds. It has the potential to generate, store, and discharge massive amounts of electrical energy at will.

To start with, Pikachu can easily cause someone to suffer an electric shock capable of frying people in a matter of seconds. In this case, we assume that people have dry skin of 1 MΩ. In order to fry someone, a temperature of about 200°C would suffice, requiring a rise of about 175 K in about 5s (arbitrary). Since water makes up 70% body weight, it is also safe to assume that the specific heat capacity of the body is 4.2 kJ/ kg K, and with an average body mass of 68kg (Most lifts give average mass of person as 150lb, which converts to 68kg), about 49980 kJ of electrical energy would have to be converted to heat in order to fry the average person. That amounts to 9996 kW for Pikachu's power, not counting power lost due to internal resistance within itself and to the air the lightning bolt has to pass through to hit the person. Where does it get all this energy from? Food?

It doesn't end there, though. Pikachu would have to generate some nasty voltage in order to reach such a level of zap. Using P = V²/R, we find that Pikachu would have to generate a whopping 100 kV, a level even power stations prefer not to reach! This probably means that Pikachu would have to have a super low resistance in order to not fry itself, as it weighs only 13 lbs making it easier to fry itself. Pikachu must be some sort of superconductive mouse brimming with metal ions in order to achieve its statistically impossible characteristics.

That given, we move on to its physical abilities. Pikachu has the ability to physically attack another Pokémon quickly, more known as Quick Attack. A Pokémon gym, a standard pokémon battle arena, compares to a medium-sized hall, about 25m by 50m. To attack the enemy halfway across the length of the gym within 1s, Pikachu would require an average velocity of 25m/s. If Pikachu was standing still and gained speed uniformly to attack its target, its final velocity would strike in at 50m/s, and its acceleration at 50m/s²! F1 racers yearn for a car that can do half of that! Using P = mav, we find that Pikachu's leg power would also strike in at 14.8 kW! That's not counting energy losses due to non-100% efficient energy conversion either.

Pikachu's leg power might appear small compared to its wicked electrical power, but to bring this into context, let's take the average human leg power. Take a 150lb sprinter who can sprint 100m in 10s, starting from rest. Assuming constant acceleration for the sake of illustration, we find that his acceleration would be 2m/s², and he would have a final velocity of 20 m/s, which is beyond human by current day standards. Using P=mav, we find that the leg power of this sprinter is 2.72 kW only. This would make Pikachu 5 times as strong than a human! It's a wonder why a herd of Pikachu don't beat everyone in the Olympics.

Oh my, this is quite a long one, I do hope you're not dead yet.

All right, continuing on...

Pikachu also has another ability called Double Team where it makes many illusions of itself to surround the enemy to confuse it. Even with its ludicrous storm skills and physical prowess it is impossible to make copies of oneself out of thin air. What it does however is a nifty little trick to move such that the enemy's eye frame capture rate causes the enemy to see many separate Pikachus when all the frames are pieced together by the brain. For humans, this frame rate is about 30Hz and increases as body size decreases, so for a medium-sized Pokémon, we use an arbitrary amount of 60Hz, which TVs often use when showing programmes. In double team, Pikachu would run in a circle of radius ≈3m around an enemy. In order for the Pokémon to see 6 distinct Pikachus, Pikachu would have to make one round every 0.1s. Pikachu would thus require a speed of 188m/s! For the sake of those who just suffered the Physics exam, I will not go to lengths to discuss the forces involved in this fantastic feat, but as you can see, Pikachu is one mad monster.

Come to think of it, if Pikachu is such a powerful creature, then why don't people use that power to make life easier for themselves? It can generate up to 100kV of power for power stations, and send the mail faster than Fedex flies it. They can be very loyal at times too, so rebellion is not really an issue. So what's been stopping people from rearing Pikachu to power their Game Boys?Oh yeah, that's right.

They don't exist.

Boy, I wish I had a Pikachu like that... On the other hand, maybe not. Good evening, spies. I hope whatever you have been doing is not killing you softly. Because if you're dead, then my works will all be in vain.

Enough Econs

2007-10-01T21:25:00.000-07:00

Today is the last nail in the coffin of my econs struggle. Now I finally have a little respite.

Well, I am truly getting bored and stressed out at the same time. I am bored because all that was fun once is no longer fun. Stressed because I still cannot find a good way to reply people whenever they tell me to study. Face it, I can't study at home. How long will it take for me to drive that point home into everyone's skulls? This phenomenon is an enigma to me.

Hrm. I am bored. I think it must have been because of the econs phobia slash determination I have had the past few days. Perhaps, in my zeal for academic excellence, I have made my life revolve around economics. For example, I end up saying things like "The demand for blog viewings has decreased due to decreased quality, and thus marginal benefit, of viewing my blog". Now that the exam is over, I have lost this drive. What to do, what to do...

If there was something that was interesting today... hrm, maybe not THAT interesting, but given that I am completely bored at the moment, I shall continue. It's strange how deceptively simple names can be messed up by teachers. I mean, either they can't read the person's name, or the person's name is simply too difficult to read with mortal eyes. De-yang? It's De-YONG, LoL. Maybe the teacher doesn't like his style of writing. Or maybe it's just his way of writing(I'm trying to be PC here, you can guess what I'm trying to get at). Either one.

Well, I will go in search of something to do in the meantime. Good night, spies. Don't forget to mug hard. Don't worry about me, I definitely will not.

Defying Convention

2007-09-29T16:21:00.000-07:00

Gosh, I have blogged one day later than usual...

You have to understand. You see, I have been unusually busy yesterday, and perhaps for the past few days as well. Working very hard for a future that may or may not exist. Working very hard for a reward that may or may not be worth it.

I've been trying out Theme Hospital and Worms World Party. I am sorry for the inconvenience caused in blogging one day late.

Strange, huh? But I do study whenever I feel like it or when there is a crisis which calls for it.

When I give this response to people, they go "Nooooooo, you should be studying more". Up to this very day, I am not sure how to respond to them such that they will be 100% satisfied. Let me give you a hypothetical example. Because I can.

Someone: How often do you study? (Let's face it, this statement rarely comes along from another person to me simply because I ASSUME they know me well enough, but heck, let's go with it.)

Me: Erm, I don't.

Someone: What? Exams are tomorrow you know...

Me: Well, I DID give my econs a half hour...

Someone: Half an hour is not enough lah... (Gosh, this is where I find it impossible to answer satisfactorily)

Option time. This is where I can give one of three answers.
Option 1: "Well, yeah, but..."
Option 2: "I have been doing well for the past don't know how long. Don't worry lah."
Option 3: "This is my style. Relax."

However, no matter what option you pick, the answer is:

"You study, can get better marks one. If you don't study, you shortchange yourself only" (Along those lines. Maybe not so cheem like 'shortchanged'.)

All this time, I have been last-minute studying, picking up my subjects as quickly as possible. And I dare say that it's been working to some extent. Except for econs, which I actually have studied for thanks to help from unexpected sources, which I refuse to identify for fear that he might be taken hostage by you spies. All I do is last minute studying, which to some is actually more of a waste of time as you end up forgetting what you learnt before and what you tried to learn, leaving you worse off. Concerning me, this is a lie. It's worked for me. Why shouldn't I continue?

Oh yeah, I do my studying in school. Come home, that's my game time.

Game on.

I'm gonna end here, need my dose of CS. Good afternoon, spies. I will hone my skills and be back, ready to take on all of you scumbags...

Everyone's a Pon-Star

2007-09-26T21:02:00.000-07:00

Well, it's true, isn't it?

Now that promos are nearing, everyone seems to have the unusual urge to skip lessons. No, not me, I'm a nice boy. I think. But not perfect, mind you, I do remember skipping here and there... Fortunately for me, I am not obliged to divulge any more information. Guess I really have to watch what I say...

I seemed to have lost my sense of humour. Again. Am I finally becoming tired of faking this personality? What even started this strange change? I am reverting to the snide, spiteful me I used to be, which I fear few can tolerate, therefore making me the loser in this social battlefield. I believe it's because of the promos. Oh yeah, blame it on the promos now, not the famine (You may or may not get it, but anyway...) Well, it looks like I will become more intolerable and toxic as time trundles along, at least until promos end.

Oh yeah, now I recall. I came upon the sudden realisation that I could fail econs, and end up losing my 4 H2s, resulting in me being blasted off to some other alien class. True, I make friends in the "new" class, but the prospect of losing friends in my "old" class is not something I look forward to. This must have made me scared. Fear causes stress, and stress causes bad things to happen. That explains a lot.

Then today I experienced a sudden realisation of a little snippet of truth, courtesy of Asti (I'd thank everyone who helped me here, unfortunately I seemed to have forgotten everyone else). What about all my other subjects? Do they count for nothing? What about all of my prior essay-writing experience in SS and SSH? Do they count for nothing? Why am I tossing myself into depression days before the examination? Am I asking too many questions?

Yes. Oops.

I shall take pride in my other subjects, and reinforce econs. In the meantime, mock while you all still can. It won't be long before my academic Achilles' Heel disappears.

Well, enough monologuing about my personal life. Goodnight, spies. Don't worry, your death will come soon. In form of chewing gum. Don't chew the gum if you value your life...

Promo woes

2007-09-24T21:12:00.000-07:00

Promos, despite it being a simple promotion of JC2 entry papers, have had a profound effect on me lately. I have just realised that I screwed up 30% of my Econs promo mark already. Ah, econs. I think I'm gonna lose my class. How sad. To think that we were just getting to know each other... T.T

I have to try harder to bounce back. Much harder. Listen, spies. This may be an emo post, but I'm always looking for help where it is least expected. But I would concede with looking for help where I expect it too. I am going to say that I am in a smatter of trouble here, in the hopes that you all will report this anomaly to your clients. I actually need help, and I am not denying it. Econs will be my downfall.

I think.

I don't want to emo anymore.

Yet here I am, emo-ing about not wanting to be emo. Which defeats the purpose.

This is dumb. Maybe I should end this post.

But not on a grave note. Maybe with a better tone. Maybe I should continue with a little bit of my personal life regarding today xP

Well, it would have been a spanking good morning, if it weren't for that HEAVY RAIN which made me take all kinds of detours just to reach school. On the bright side, I only took 1 bus instead of 2, saving me a grand total of 35 cents. Maybe rain isn't such a bad thing...

After topping up on cash at Blk 43, I hastily (like always) moved to the MRT station, where I realised that the sheltered paths end there. Oh no, there is trouble. I am to walk through the rain, getting my bag and get drenched. Might as well take a shower in the rain. Too bad I didn't bring soap. So I called some SC friends. One didn't respond. I suspect the rain shorted his phone. The other apparently waterproofed her's, good thinking. I was informed then that umbrellas were being distributed to the lucky students who happened to be at the nearby taxi stand. Public good. Lol. I need to train econs some more, so excuse me for all these economic references. Oh wait, you're all spies. There's no need for excusing.

So I trudged along, wary of the rain, and collected an umbrella from a SC stranger (Oh yeah, a spy was there too. Out of mercy I decided not to kill her as her phone instilled a sense of compassion in me). And with that umbrella, I felt ready to take on the world. Or the rain, as it seemed.

But there was one teensy-weensy tiny little baby thing I overlooked.

Umbrellas stop water falling from above from landing on you.

Wait, that means-- SPLASH

...I hate cars.

My legs took a shower, but everything else decided to avoid contact with water. Needless to say, I had cold feet throughout the first half of the day, and this caused me to mess up my OP. Hah, I knew I wasn't a n00b in presentation! I just couldn't feel my legs, that's all. Wait, that doesn't make sense. Cold feet don't translate to screwed presentations. Argh. My mind is messed. It must be the promos...

Anyway, good evening, spies. You all had better watch out for razor blades, who knows when a flurry of them come to chop you into a million tiny little pieces.

I are bored

2007-09-22T21:07:00.000-07:00

Read the title.

Boredom is a strange thing, you know. Most things arise from a presence of an event or some sort of trigger. Boredom, on the other hand, requires the absence of a trigger. Which is really the trigger. Strange, huh?

Although I hate to admit it, it's only 6 more days to promos. Since I cannot find subjects other than my own to poke fun at, out of sheer prejudice for all other tenable subjects, I have discontinued my promos series. Nobody said that it was going to continue anyway, so don't go all crying over the loss of that funny series thing.

All right, now I have to build a good presentation for my OP. Oral presentation. No, you don't show the examiner your teeth. THAT's a DP, Dental Presentation. You do that every time you have a toothache. For OP, you have to orally present whatever strange things you did throughout your year in JC1. Hence the name, OP. You do it via a powerpoint presentation. I was thinking flash, but then again, would it be worth so much time?

Maybe I should give it a shot.

All right, it is time to go. Good evening, spies. Soon, you will all face the fury of my right thumb.

Promos Part 5

2007-09-20T19:51:00.000-07:00

If I do not get any more inspiration, the promos series will end here. No more. Zilch. Zippo. Nada. Nothing. No more extra parts. Already I can almost hear some of you spies rejoicing. But never mind. It is because of these spies that I am compelled to synthesise entries designed to zap your minds until they are beyond hope. OK, time to begin.

As I have stated time and again, Promos, or "Promotions", are a fair, not unlike the IT fairs like Comex, but instead of advertising electronics, the Promos advertise entry papers, of which you must complete a set amount of in order to enter J2 level. Refreshments are also provided, some of which are so acidic they will literally make you melt. Needless to say, those don't really sell. They also provide less caustic, solid sweets that decorate your tongue with assorted colours, with the colour change given at a rate determined by the force with which you suck at the sweet. Yes, although it may not be so obvious this time, I will be wasting my time on the Chemistry paper.

As you purchase the paper, you are to sprinkle some water, or Dihydrogen Monoxide, on the paper before it can be activated. Upon touching the water, the paper will dissolve, leaving behind a light green precipitate. You are to eat some of this ppt. before you can continue with the actual test, as you will suddenly find the world around you dissolving. Next thing you know, you're in the middle of a battlefield, with people left and right losing extraordinary amounts of blood, so much so that the air is saturated with the aromatic smell of it. Upon collecting a test tube of blood, you are to proceed to test it for iron ions by smelling it. If it smells like blood (which it will, unless you're an alien of some sort), then it's got iron in it. After testing for iron, a lab table will apparate before you, complete with burette and beakers. You will now test the concentration of iron ions by performing a strange redox reaction using the blood and another strange solution, which can be used for back-titration. Upon finding the concentration of iron in the blood, you are to find the medic, who will then jab you with some of the titrated solution. You will then find the ground below your feet vapourise, and wake up standing on the same spot as when you began.

Well, this is short and nonsensical. So I'm gonna talk about my personal life for a bit. I hope you aren't disappointed. Wait. Oh right. It don't matter a thing. you're spies.

School is the same as usual, but for some reason or other something feels, different. Since I am talking about how I see school, either school has changed, or my view has changed. Since it's not easy to change school buildings, I infer that my view has changed. Definitely not what it used to be about 8 months ago. I came with a youthful perception of what life is supposed to be. But now my horizon has been expanded quite a bit. So has my workload, but I'm not really worried about work, per se. I'm more worried about the extra time school has taken up. I now go home at 5 to 6 everyday. Compare that to going home at 2 every day back then. I preferred back then.

But then again, there's a reasonable incentive for going to school. I get to entertain people I encounter. And try to talk to them about topics which are enormously difficult to bring up because they are simply not interested in it. No matter what I do, their interest will not change. Well, if they don't want to know how they have missed the point with God, it's their loss.

Or maybe they're "too busy" to think about such things. Darn! I wish they would take to matters of faith more seriously. I guess Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs really does apply to them...
Or maybe it's just me. I don't have the courage to tell them the better way. Since most of the time, they will *stubbornly* cling on to the old, carnal lives they love so much, that they don't want to choose a higher path. Literally. Seeing such things discourages me, therefore by not talking, I indirectly condemn them.

But who am I to force my ideas on them. They can believe whatever they like, because I can't impose my ideas on them. Doing so would make me rude. I don't like being rude, although it sounds cool every now and then to make a snide comment.

Or even better.

I don't have the courage to tell them because I don't have the courage to even talk to them. Argh. Lacking is my courage. God, please help me.

Well, 'nuff said. I'm gonna wiki for a way to kill all of you in one fell swoop. Goodnight, spies. And pray hard that you won't die so soon...

Promos Part 4

2007-09-18T22:28:00.000-07:00

Well, this sequel won't just end at a trilogy... I shall continue, and you all cannot stop me.

As stated time and again, promos are simply a fair showcasing JC2 entry papers, which you must complete in order to advance to J2 level in the hopes of promoting these papers, hence the name "Promotions". The promotions have time and again been so successful, with students gravitating toward the hall in a frenzy to purchase the papers, that the volume of papers is halved within the first hour. Unfortunately, this rate of paper mass loss is not constant, as people will have bought most of their papers within the first hour. Current A.C. students find the physics paper bothersome as it involves a lot of physics. Why the random statement? SI (That's yes in spanish, in case you are too stupid to know), I will be talking about the physics paper.

Physics can involve a lot of things, from the lowly projectile to the complicated tachyon. Therefore, I shall begin on the first, most practical part of physics, and that's the practical. Or more known as the SPA, where, as the name suggests, you jump into a hot bath, place cucumber slices on your eyes, slather a green gooey "mud" pack (If you can call it mud), and soak up the water whilst feeling the temperature difference. Ahh, feels good, doesn't it? Well, while you are soaking up the water, you realise that the water becomes extremely viscous, and the floor begins to dissolve beneath you. You try to escape, but it's too late. Your magic mud pack turned the water into quicksand. You are soon sucked into a vortex where you can breathe, even though there is no air. You can drift around in this space, as if in free-fall. Don't worry, your magic mud pack was decent enough to clothe you in a black suit and trenchcoat while you were being dragged into the strange space.

You are, for some unknown reason, electrostatically attracted to a platform with little balls orbiting a giant ball in the middle of the platform. Touching the little balls results in an electric shock, as they are actually giant electrons with a charge of 1 coloumb each. Obviously, do not touch the big ball in the middle, unless you would like to turn yourself into a soup of ions. Your objective is to grab these over-sized electrons using a pair of metal tongs and insulating gloves, a challenging feat since the electrons are moving at the speed of light, c. What most physics-oriented goons do is give the tongs a super-positive charge by making it touch the positive sphere in the middle. This would cause the electrons to orbit closer to the nucleus. From there, it is possible to make the electron orbit around the tongs in circular motion. Cool, huh? Provided you don't get fried in the process.

Once done, your body charge will become equal with the charge of the platform, and you will be ejected from the platform to drift purposelessly through the black space. In the meantime, you can stargaze at light halos caused by gravitational lensing. But it won't be for long. Soon, you will be gravitationally pulled via hypothetical particles called gravitons into a black hole, where you become spaghettified. Nah, you don't die, although I wish you did, filthy spy. You are transported into the hot bath you were enjoying. Oh yeah, you lose your trenchcoat and suit. Aw. No more matrix fun.

All right, the super-practical side of physics is over. Now about the physical side of physics. Hey, they DID name it PHYSIC-s for a reason. That's why there is yet a subject which few relate to physics called physical education. Or PE. Your pick.

PE, or physical education, is the subject teaching you how to become big, buff and strong. Learning PE is pivotal as it balances your academic school life with some body-bashing. On the more theoretical side though, you learn about projectile motion, where you learn to throw 5-kilo weights at each other at the highest possible velocity and see how much momentum is gained by the person as the weight makes contact. You also do things like reduce the normal contact force on your feet by the ground to zero for 0.25s at a frequency of 2.5 Hz, where your body follows an oscillating pattern. It's called jumping jacks, btw. For resistance training, you are required to charge through a 500-Kelvin firewall as many times as you feel you can take without suffering from third-degree burns.

You are probably wondering by now what the actual PE paper contains. Well, it contains a little sentence, actually. It says,"You have passed. Have a nice day." Yes, buying the paper automatically passes you. Needless to say, everyone buys this paper because it automatically passes everyone who takes it, which is why this paper makes the promos the most money.

Well, time to blog off now. Good night, spies. Remember to tag abit, so that I can trace you and kill you. Come on, I know you're stupid enough to tag. Come on...

Promos Part 3 (Beware spy, It's a long one)

2007-09-16T22:37:00.000-07:00

Since all things good must come in threes, like trilogies, I will continue this strange promo subject into a third part.

To reiterate the point regarding promos, the promos, or more aptly named "Promotions", are nothing more than an open house advertising subject papers, which function to help you reach JC2 level. Some are activated by performing a series of dumb things like tap-dancing to a polka-theme song whilst writing your name on the paper with blood, while others are activated by ticking in the "I accept the terms of the agreement" box. They come in various subjects, like chemistry, physics, economics, [G]rating [P]armesan and KI, better known as Potassium Iodide. Papers usually come in sets of 2 or 3, except economics, simply because they want to be extremely economical to the point where they have to combine the papers in order to save on paper. And yes, I will be working on the maths paper today.

The maths paper is not what it seems. When you buy the paper, an aura seems to emanate from the center of the front cover. Upon touching a logo emblazoned there, your soul is sucked into a vortex where space-time is warped, and you can actually open floating doors to see your childhood. Ah, the good old days. Oh yeah, strange things like cubes, squares and cones exist in this void, as if in free-fall. As you wander, or float, through this void, monster figures will come to attack you. You are to use your eye power to subtract these figures until they equate to zero. Upon reaching zero, they explode in a showery range of fireworks, and you gain experience points (EXP) equal to that monster's attack points. However, some monsters require decryption using the power of e, or more known to the maths world as Ln, or other devices like a graphic calculator. Oh yeah, you are to gain as many experience points as possible whilst in this void within a time limit in order to get a good score. The time left can be found on a watch which teleports onto your hand as you get sucked into the void.

If you fail to use your eye power to destroy a monster in time, the monster will attack you. In that case, the monster will still explode, but you will not receive any experience points and will receive damage to your hit points (HP) equal to the monster's attack points. If you run out of HP, you die. It's that simple. No redos, no replays, no restarts. And yeah, you won't leave the void alive. You die. Which is why this paper has been highly criticized as the zombified shell of the physical self you left behind, more like a loose collection of body parts now, will trudge out of the hall, acting all zombie-like and such, leaving poor parents with zombies for kids (no offense, Zong Ping). This is known as after-exam syndrome, whereby the sufferer did not survive the onslaught and has been reduced to a zombie-like state.

On the other hand, you can shield yourself from the attacks by looting the monsters for weapons which can help you, like a log (base-10). If you find that you are faced with too many monsters for you to take out one by one, you can use a Maclaurin's induction rifle (simpler known as an MI gun) to integrate the monsters, and finish 'em off in one go. Unique weapons exist too. Take the Pythagoras. Yep, it's triangular, and it's a boomerang which can destroy all enemies in an arc. Unfortunately, to use it, you have to solve a trigo question which sears itself onto the boomerang. And the question changes with every use. Fortunately, this rare drop can be upgraded with support items like the radians, which increase the radius of the arc.

It doesn't end there. You can defend yourself too. By activating the block-dude function on your GC, you can BLOCK an attack once every minute. You could also subtract the attack beam using your eye power. Most people, however, use a special shield the moment they get it. It's called the vector targe. It takes the attack beam and multiplies it by -1, thus causing the beam to give you HP instead. Then it shatters. The shield also stuns the monster, as it wonders why you didn't cringe in pain from the attack. Most experienced fighters (those with lots of experience points) would by now have whipped out a binomial double-barrel shotgun, which expands the figure so that you can cut through it easily using your eye power. This shotgun can be upgraded using x-coefficients, converting the binomial shotgun into a polynomial many-barrel shotgun, which stretches out the figure even more.

Attacked? Well, there's a simple solution. Items collected from fallen enemies can be used to gain life points. Such as a addition potion, which recovers some HP. Some also grant you special abilities. Like the division scroll, which is a one-use enchantment which divides all damage directed at you by 10, or the abacus, which disintegrates to destroy all arithmetic monster figures in sight. Beneficial as these items are, they can be made even better by using a permutation cube, which combines these items together. For example, an abacus and a division scroll make a multiply scroll, which doubles the EXP you receive from monsters within a time period. Many more combinations exist, but to find out, you would have to use nCr to find out how many you would have to try.

Finally, how to win. You would have to gain as much EXP as you can. When you are transported back to the normal world, you will have your EXP placed on a leaderboard, which differentiates the passes from the fails. If you are in the 49th percentile, you get a D grade. That's how it works.

On a personal note, I hope nobody gets any ideas from this elaborate caricature of the maths paper and tries to really make a game based on this wacky idea. If so, I will be forced to claim copyright on this concept. THEN the idiot who tried to copy my idea will be in trouble...

All right, I'm tired now... I'm gonna play CS again. Good night, spies. Rest assured you will be seeing more of this nonsense coming up soon.

Promos Part 2

2007-09-14T21:02:00.000-07:00

Well, here is the sequel, as promised.

Promos, as we have concluded beyond any reasonable doubt, are not exams as your teachers would have you know, but actually a means of increasing revenue for the school, or the firm if you want, due to government intervention which made the school charge a lower price for education in an attempt by the government to maximise student welfare. This lowered cost obviously benefitted students, but obviously not the fir- I mean school, which had to resort to selling examination papers, a form of vertical integration in a sense. And yes, I will still talk about the economics paper.

Economics, as the subject suggests, is the subject in which everything is economical. That's why the paper is only 2 sheets thick, with words squeezed to be this small. You can't read without squinting very hard, which is why, on a personal tone, I don't like the paper. Luckily they provide magnifying glasses. Unfortunately, in the spirit of being economical, you are to complete your papers using cheap, thin, highly combustible paper which they will provide, under the hot sun, definitely without any air-con as it is uneconomical use of energy. Putting a magnifying glass to this dirt-cheap paper half made of alkanes will result in your hair being burned. Along with the rest of you. If you're lucky, you might only suffer third-degree burns. Oh, and you are only provided with one sheet of this fire-prone paper. After all, you have to economise on everything, which includes space on the paper, forcing you to write this small. It's irritating, right? Still want to do economics? Yes? Fine. Do it your way.

Economics is not a dead-end subject. Rather, it has many branches to itself, like some sort of dichotomy. Dichotomous key. LoL. Within the set of economics comes topics like home economics, microeconomics and macroeconomics. Many more are still being discovered even today. Since everyone probably is sian of micro and macro after what I wrote 2 paragraphs ago, I will do justice to home economics.

In home economics, students have to recite the phrase, "A place for every knife, and every knife in its place" times whilst playing showtime tunes on the piano perfectly. Once done, picking up the paper will transport them to a home in an alien homeworld where rats eat elephants and cows weigh twice as much as you, where they will be forced to perform menial tasks like cooking a delicious ratatouille while tap-dancing to entertain your guests. This is important as you can thereby maximise consumer benefit. You are also required to visit a supermarket, where you will shop for a long list of goods without any bulky, unnecessary assistances such as a trolley. All within a 15-minute time period. Items in the list include salt, vinegar, more well known as dilute ethanoic acid, and ethanol-containing substances like beer. Oh yeah, if you miss a single item or run out of time, you instantly fail, and will be transported back to the real world with a U grade. Completing the test within the allotted time will cause you to fail as well, as you were not economic enough to consider using the basket hidden behind the checkout counter to make your shopping quicker, resulting in you being sent back to the real world with an S grade. Hey, S is slightly better than U, right? Needless to say, everyone failed the test and so it was abolished before it was even started. Wait, that's not right. Never mind. Anyway, they don't hold home economics anymore, so that's that.

Well, that's that, like I just said. Don't run away, spies. I will be blogging pretty soon... Or not. Do what you want.

Promos

2007-09-12T23:59:00.000-07:00

Promos. Not a pleasant experience for most people. Myself included, regrettably. We all have our fears. Not that having fears is inherently bad, but when people know what you fear, they might be perfidious enough to use that knowledge to attack me, bringing me to my knees begging them to stop. Well, sorry to let you know that promos only come once a lifetime!

Provided I don't repeat -- OOPS, there goes my weakness... T.T

Promos, despite all the hype behind it, are not exams. Rather, as the name suggests, promos are nothing more than an open house showcasing JC2 entry papers. The open house is designed to promote the sale of JC2 entry papers to JC1s, hence the name 'Promos', more appropriately named 'Promotions'.

The Promo papers simply mean the JC2 entry papers, which have to be purchased at a fee that varies with demand. You are required to complete a quota of entry papers and submit them to the school, which will slot you in based on whether you scribbled on your paper at random for fun or you actually attempted to complete the paper efficiently. Your quota also has an upper limit, leaving you to choose whichever paper you feel you can finish properly, thus making you incur an opportunity cost, which is the marginal benefit you could have reaped upon taking the paper you had to forgo in order to take the paper you chose.

Of the papers available, you must take either GP, or more well known as Grating Parmesan, or KI, more well known as Potassium Iodide. In GP, you have to describe in detail how to evenly grate parmesan cheese such that it is evenly distributed on your pasta. Not hard really, but consider that you have to finish the paper within 5 minutes and under standard conditions. In KI, touching the paper while reciting the School Anthem will transport you to an alternate universe in which people explode on contact with fish, where you have to perform tedious tasks involving throwing potassium into water. And since potassium explodes on contact with water, well... Let's not go into there. The point is, once you have performed those tedious tasks, you will be given a bucket of, well, you guessed it: KI. Drinking it will transport you back to the real world.

Depending on your skill, your papers may be equally ranked with someone else's papers. In this case, the stallholders in the Promos will gather to convene on how to differentiate the two papers. They will firstly look for errors in your papers and compare them with the other person's errors. 1 Systematic error counts as 2 random errors. If even then, they cannot figure out whose paper is superior, they will bring out the integrated circuits i.e. computers to figure out the answer. If even then they cannot figure out whose paper is better, they leave it at that.

All right, it's running late now. I'm gonna continue this sometime soon. Look out for it, spies. It might just make you laugh to death. Which is what I want. hehehe....

Aaron's Back?

2007-09-10T21:43:00.000-07:00

Oh yeah. But only for today. Basically because I can't think of a more "successful" story I made up. I hope you still remember Aaron, because if you don't, that makes you stupid. Since spies are stupid, I guess you would fit the bill then.

Here we go...

Aaron was working on yet another research project, hammering away at the keyboard. But the work was not what he was worried about. That he had control over. Rather, it was his social life that irked him some. "Jade" called truce. Cynthia was becoming a long shot for him to get anything going, now that she was shooting for someone else as well. Suffice to say, his social "goals" then, as he liked to call them, were gone one way or another.

Oh yes. He was suffering from the "NOW WHAT?!" Syndrome.

Sufferers of the "NOW WHAT?!" Syndrome often do not experience much adversity in a particular part of their lives. They also tend to generate their own stress due to the absence of stressors. Symptoms include being bored, impatient and restless. They also suffer from compulsive ponderings on how to inject spice into the part of their lives which is causing the syndrome. Most sufferers do not have it easy, as the particular part often is a part which they do not have much control over. Those who have much control over it will cure themselves quickly, leaving the residue to suffer chronically. Ouch.

Suddenly, a thought pricked Aaron's mind. His fingers stopped whacking the keyboard. He had a great idea.

He would tell people about what he stood for. About his beliefs. His committment to the One and only. And enjoy listening to how people take it. Because every reaction is never the same.

Life will never be the same. Now if only they agreed to what he has to say...

Well, that's enough. Perhaps you spies take KI. Then you would understand the story fully. Just in case you don't, I won't be telling you the truth behind the story anyway. So if you have your ideas, you can keep them for yourself, and never let anyone know about your story because they would think you insane. Aw. Now you know how it feels to be called SIOW.

I think I'll end this entry here. Good night, spies. I hope you are hiding behind bulletproof glass. If you aren't, good luck. If you are, it won't help. I will still send my suicide robots to send you some acid bombs.

Closure

2007-09-08T19:47:00.000-07:00

And with a little whimper, the hols draw to a close. Well, not exactly a whimper.

Good evening, spies. I hope you have recovered from the last poem thing, because I won't be making those for a while. Well, maybe a week at most. Better be prepared just in case...

Today's Open House was what I expected: A simple exhibition of whatever the school has to offer, coupled along with a bunch of student stallholders who find nothing better but to slack and give the occasional demonstration of whatever their booth has to offer. Typical, ain't it? But there were special things. The DEP crew decided to drama abit. The dancers decided to dance abit too. Everyone felt like doing something. Same with me.

I decided to walk around and inspect whatever exhibits our creative student body could conjure up. (Basically, that's looking around. I hope you aren't too stupid to know that...)

About 2 hours of slacking later, I went walking around AGAIN and somehow bumped into Nut. She was sticking around the Golf stall, and she had something I dearly wanted. The phone. Not just any phone. But the phone with a nice game thing on it. You know. Games. You play them. So I took a seat, and started gaming. Hey, if you can own in a game that everyone loves to play, might as well rub that into everyone's faces.

Nut started first (In case you were wondering, ladies first). And me, being the nice but bored guy, helped her. To get about 5-6k i think. And then I played. And got second place. Sianz. Second. With only 1.3 million points. What was the first place? 2.6 mil. I'm might just never beat that imba score. On the other hand, I was the reason for that crazy score. Maybe I'm not so useless after all... Hehe

Well, that sums up today. Good evening, spies. I hope you all are on the alert. Maybe a bit of sword-fighting will wake you up. You will soon see why the swordfish is named such...

Halfway through hols

2007-09-06T16:58:00.000-07:00

Good afternoon, spies. Once again, you have come to spy upon me. You're all pretty sad, if you ask me. To have to resort to spying on a poor innocent blogger just to make you feel better all because your sister or brother made sure you had a bad day.

Fine. Do whatever you want. It doesn't bother me. Much.

Well, aside from blasting at your personal lives, I have decided to blog about how boring this holiday has turned out to be. I haven't gone out much. I haven't seen the world either. Perhaps it is time to return to the blithering boredom of school. Yay.

Or maybe... I haven't talked much. I'm getting rather shelled out here. No outings, no nothing. At least I save money tho. Maybe I should try to use MSN more. Then again, they might think I am harrassing them and wasting their time. And people might get the wrong idea.

Then again, people have to make mistakes every now and then, so that they can learn from them. Hmm, maybe I should take that chance every once in a while.

Then again, some mistakes are better off not made. I have to be careful which mistakes I allow myself to make.

But then again, how DO I choose which mistakes to make?

LöL. I give up.

I am bored. Confirmed liao. Good day, spies. Rest assured I will blast all you cretins with my ray gun, and then I will hack you all to death with a water bottle.

Ahh, Rats!

2007-09-04T13:37:00.000-07:00

I think I'll post a poem today. Don't worry, spies. It's not as caustic as you would think. It might still burn your eyes right out of their sockets though...

Ever wondered

Have you ever wondered
(Give thought a little ponder)
What happens when you die
At the height of your lifetime fine

Perhaps as the death count stacks
Your conscience would only see black
A zero-world which is simply empty
Leaving you with questions aplenty

What will you see? What will you hear?
Can you laugh, or even shed a tear?
Will you find your loved ones there?
Would your ethereal soul still even care?

Maybe a zero-world is not your belief,
perhaps 18 levels of hell is your relief
Each level caters to how good people were
The highest for good, the lower the worse

What, only hell? Ouch, that must hurt
No escape from being eternally burned
Surely there must be some better space
Which is a good life's reward, to reach that place

There are many ways to get there, or so people think
Some say "Find the way, do good without a blink,
You will find Nirvana, it's worth the price you pay,
All that righteous suffering, repaid on that day"

Others yet say,"Praise be to God! He asks not much,
Accept Jesus as your Saviour, your life he will then touch,
Re-dedicate your life to Him, and you will be saved
The way to Heaven by Him is marked and paved"

Fools! If you all only knew,
The half-story given to you
Sure, it's all backed by Scripture,
But they don't have the full picture

So many paths to choose, where to go
They all seem to be right, but rarely so
But everyone all seems to believe they are right.
But no matter what they say, only you can decide

So don't you ever wonder
What to do before you die
As the cries of war thunder,
Listen to me! Now is the time.

OK, I'm tired of making poems... Good day, spies. I shall break into your houses using a ball-point pen, and murder you all with my right thumb.

Insertion Point

2007-09-02T23:27:00.000-07:00

Here I am, sitting before the holidays. A wave that will sweep everyone over. But no, I'm prepared, how about you?

Now to talk about things that do not belong in this blog. Because you spies will utilise the information presented in this entry to perform random acts of terror against humans, animals and computers alike. Now even that, I won't contemplate performing. If I did perform such things, it would be by accident. Now moving on...

Last week of school. We decided to "celebrate". We being 5 little human beings (3 boys, 2 girls. Well, I would prefer it if there was an even ratio, but you can't have a half-boy, half-girl now can you? That's putrefying) and a celebration being to sit on a bus and stone. We took the bus like any other posse of kids would. And it was a fun ride. Whee.

Let's see. Who came along... Oh yeah. ZP, Me, Me(ryl). Oh yeah, the Tans too.

Back to the bus. You could literally see a story unfolding from where I sat. ZP 2 seats in front, the Tans 1 seat. And Meryl... Let's not talk about it. Later she don't friend me. ZP, seems to like music. Nothing wrong with that, I like music too. Unfortunately, the WHOLE WORLD may not share his love for it. Which is why handphone companies alike have developed cutting-edge technology and packaged it into a petit little gadget called earpieces. They fit in your ear, and blast music into YOUR EARS, where the noise is supposed to go. Not to everyone else's ears. Buy. An. Earpiece. Quickly. For the sake of social etiquette, I guess...

We decided to stop stoning and go out for a walk for a change. So we got off, with pinpoint precision, at Adam Road, and crossed the street. 3 times I think, to walk all the way to Serene Centre, where we had the most exquisite... ice cream. The girls (being girls) bought a cone each. Us guys (being guys) went economical and decided to buy a smallish tub of Cookies N' Cream. And so we got the tub. The guys at Island Creamery froze the tub very well. In fact, it was so frozen over, they had to microwave it so that we could eat it. They gave us spoons. We should have asked for ice picks. At least they were METAL spoons. If they were plastic, they would have broken real fast.

But what interests me further is not the fact that the ice cream should have been called ice, but the over-the-table chatter. As usual, Deyong was being bullied. I should have helped him abit, but no. I didn't want to get too involved. Which usually ends up with Deyong being the loser. In every sense of the word. It's like seeing someone get ganged up on, you know... don't want to try to be a hero there. Besides, they're having so much fun, how can I play the wet blanket? I'm too nice for that. Or am I? Hrm...

I think that fine Tuesday, I saw some advances (being) made. No, I refuse to elaborate upon touching of touchy issues... dooh, there I go again. I don't want to say too much. If I do, this strange formation of a series of events will unravel too quickly and cause widespread chaos, and it will all end in tears. I don't want that. But I still have to express my point of view. So to those who are smart enough to take KI, I will continue anyway in a subtle and cryptic manner.

What I saw was a silent fight. Not openly expressed, not even with any aggression. It looked like friendly competition. But the losses had profound effect. It was not unexpected. SOMEONE has to finish first, after all. One who was usually very chipper suddenly fell silent. Few noticed the change, no one bothered to end that status of deep thought. But they were standing on fair ground. Everything's looking relatively fine, for now. But trouble's abrew. Especially for a someone's heart... Heart attack? lol.

I have absolutely no idea if whatever I said is true. Don't mock me for being an idiot because I have to make mistakes every now and then so that I can learn from them. But I at least have to know I am making mistakes in the first place. What if it's all true? Huh? When I don't know if I'm making a mistake, I'm never gonna progress. That's life. Life suxxors. I gotta get used to it. So do you, loser spies. Can't even see the knife at your throats. Hah! You're dead. Oh wait, you aren't. Darn!

All right, I'm gonna cut the line now. Enjoy the holiday, spies. It's gonna be over sooner than you think... hehehe

Hols

2007-08-31T22:24:00.000-07:00

A time of stonage. And boredom. And absolute fear of schoolwork.

Well, not for me. Time for a change. A big one.

I'm gonna work. A little bit.

No, I'm not gonna work in McDonalds so that you all can humiliate me by taking pictures of me in a $10 uniform serving people at the front and letting you post them on your clients' blogs. I'm gonna attempt to study what I fear. Humanities. Because they are what make us science freaks human. Har hardy har har.

I think that being scientifically attached has tagged along with it the consequence of being socially inept. Inhuman. How does one deal with that? Or... one DOESN'T deal with that, and continues being socially inept like all geeks are stereotyped to be.

But I'm not like that. Oh no.

I'm smarter than that.

Balance to the mind and body. Too bad I can't dance, I can't play football and I can't even do a cartwheel, so body's out. Best thing for me to do is build up the mind. So that I can own you all. Every day in every way I become smarter and evolve to reach the top.

Whilst still being VERY random. Which I am now. Darn! I have to rid myself of this habit...

OK, let's start over...

Holidays. Not a very long season, but come to think of it, this isn't secondary school anymore. Life then was drudgery as I had no life. How sad. No camaraderie amongst schoolmates then. I was rather silenced then. Don't wna elaborate on that. Too quiet a topic. So then I enjoyed the holidays. There was actually something in it for me. Cool, innit? Now, things have changed. More camaraderie. More friendly ties. This experience is somewhat better than I expected it to be. Without any repressions, I can now feel an absolute lack of stress.

Well, almost absolute. Promos are coming.

Not that it's significant. I'm gonna needa little work on econs tho... Work work.

Now that matters of the heart are settled, I am going to continue whacking away at CS. Good night, spies. Know that all that owning in CS is for practice for the big day when I massacre you all. Maybe you should play CS too... Don't want you to go down without even a little fight...

Self-Pondering

2007-08-29T23:26:00.000-07:00

And one-thirds of the JC season has come and past. I have blasted away at the thin fabric of society so that I can carve myself a place in it. But there have been times where I blasted too much away. The thin fabric of society does not weave itself back easily. So does this mean that time will resolve everything or people do? This is crazy...

I'm a risk-taker. I admit. I joke too much, I take crazy risks even in my games. Because I know that if I mess up and die, I can always restart. No questions asked, no harm done. Not with real life. All this, this is real. If you mess up something, there is no reset button. You can't press Control Z and Shazam! mistake gone. No such thing. You gotta undo things by figuring out a way. Now people make mistakes, nobody will mock them for it. OK lah, maybe every now and then. Now people get scared of making mistakes. Because they know what can happen should all go wrong again. Once bitten, twice shy, I guess.

Now I'm scared of what others think of me.

What do you all think I am? Am I some sort of joker who can't keep his mouth shut? Is it? Or maybe I'm an insensitive idiot who doesn't know when to stop? Perhaps I don't know when someone is serious, or when to back off. I end up burning people more often than I breathe. I suck at this job. Socialising does not come on a neat little instruction manual.

Wait.

Socialising does not come on a neat little instruction manual.

That's why I have to keep making mistakes. So that I can learn from them.

Sounds retarded.

What the heck. I'll do it. Thanks God.

Well, that was enough self-criticising. Goodnight, spies. Given the death rate in the world, I calculate that you have about a 0.000001% chance of dying within this hour. Assuming 6000 people die every hour. Go figure.

Poem Time!!!

2007-08-27T22:41:00.000-07:00

I have decided... to compose a poem today! Please, fasten your blindfolds if you don't like poems, cos this is gonna kill you if you're not ready... (Please don't be ready...)

The Wanderer

The wanderer stopped for a little rest,
He turned around, and sat to catch his breath.
Eyes weary, he drearily looked about
To see the immorality all around

Sitting on a huge rock, t'was his vista
He could see people doing strange things
Some complaining about life, yet forever in siesta,
Some making merry and getting drunk, like kings.

The wanderer looked into his bag, and began to read
His purple book, all dusted and clean
Common as it was, he for himself had seen
the great evil this book could defeat

Evil, the wanderer knew, was in the neighbourhood
And his goal was to do what he could
To save whoever he can, and expect no less
And show them the way with not a regret

But many a time, he was discouraged
His mission had lost him many friends
Who neither could believe, nor had the courage
To say "I believe," and in a faith make amends

The wanderer then turned to others
Who on his long journey he had discovered
But they too were reserved to his idea.
They had their carnal lives which they held dear

So the wanderer wearily got up, once again
To tell others about what life is without pain
If they couldn't see his point either, too bad
Heaven will just have one less potential man

Well, if you can decipher the poem, go take Lit. or something. Go on. You know you can. Or take KI. Up to you. Become cynical and sad, so that you will become emo, slit your wrists and die. Then I will have one less spy to assassinate.

Drained

2007-08-25T10:36:00.000-07:00

Gah. I don't feel like doing anything. It makes no sense. I feel like just going to bed and forgetting about everything that has transpired up to today, but I'm not tired. What a shame. Instead, I am stoning before my computer blogging about why I feel so sian-ified. Sad, innit?

Hrm. Oh yeah. I didn't have my soup yet. I think I'll go make some now...

Well, to go back to old habits, I think I'll blog about my day yesterday.

A pleasant Friday morning it was. I went to school as usual and picked my usual place. It never changes, my place. Unless someone is evil enough to steal it. Fortunately, it did not happen. Fortunately.

Well, I am running out of gas, so fast forward to PW. My group was slacking in class, as usual. One was doing econs, one was doing nothing, and one was toying with blu-tack. Yupp, that's right, it was me. Cost me a small sum, but it was very much worth it. Especially when people envy your creations. After 3.50, we all decided to take some photos. Dunno why. They gave some lame excuse about Teachers' Day. Whatever. Anyway, there were only about 10 of us there, but we took photos anyway. I catch no ball. If it's for Teachers' Day, why only 10 of us? What about the rest of the class? Are they not part of the class? Where is the logic?

Never mind.

It's getting late now... Well, not really, but to appease some people, I am going to log off now. Goodnight, spies. I hope to find you decapitated on the street.

Provocative Ponderings

2007-08-23T00:10:00.000-07:00

I have pondered this topic many a time, but with careful observation of my surroundings, I have realised how close to home this topic was to me. In fact, this so-called problem slash blessing is so pressing an issue to me that I have actually decided to base my entry on this. Actually, it's partly because I have absolutely nothing else to blog about, other than my most positively mundane day at school. I guess I have lost the fervor I used to have when I started this blog. Gosh. One day I'm gonna give up blogging. That's gotta suck for you spies. Without blogs for you to read, you will suffer from violent and painful withdrawal symptoms ranging from incessant vomiting to shock, followed by death. Ooh, that's gotta hurt.

Flirting. Not the word everyone likes to use, but a word's a word, like it or not. Some might put it to be just playing around. To each his own. I'm just here to define what I think in my own terms. You spies couldn't possibly comprehend. Anyway, this flirting thing has become quite prevalent amongst people in my society. Direct intervention seems untenable as it would direct wrath from both parties at me. That's not good for me now, is it? Now the way I understand it, flirting can bring about two outcomes in general. The first reflects failure. Both parties go their ways, still maintaining platonic relationships hopefully, and HOPEFULLY all is well. Who said failure was necessarily a bad thing?

Now the second reflects success. Both parties form a nice social relationship with each other which makes everyone go "Awwwwwwww" (Hyu Style) . Now this second outcome can bring forth two scenarios, one more possible than the other with time. The good path: Both parties stay that way, which makes everyone go "Awwwwwwww" (Hyu Style) even more. Everyone is happier, especially the duo. A happy ending embodied in real life. The problem is that the bad path is more common nowadays. The bad path: The social bond breaks. Doesn't matter why, but it does. Could be a disagreement, or some sort of happening out of anyone's control. But something goes horribly wrong, the bond breaks. Both parties go their separate ways, but this time it's extremely hard to maintain platonic relationship because of whatever that transpired throughout that time. Both parties suffer, and since everyone can see them suffer, they suffer too from discouragement. Everyone's scared to flirt, which is now a bad thing. Sounds paradoxical, since flirting was the reason for this horrijiber outcome.

But flirting need not be a bad thing. In fact, if it were a bad thing, fewer people would get married, and we all would not exist as the human race would not replace itself. We, as normal human beings, need this attraction to members of the opposite, *ahem*, as much as we need food or water to survive. But before we go around giving ourselves to each other, hold back one second and think. Are you sure you want to pick someone so quickly? Why do you find yourself picking that someone? Maybe because of his witty comments? Maybe because of her smile? Or maybe you feel, JUST feel, that you two should be together forever?

Could it be that you've just got the hots for that person?

I may not be an expert, nor do I claim to be, so don't sue me or hate me for whatever I suggest. But I still gotta suggest something so that I don't leave you wondering at wits' end what I am trying to drive at. What I think is that we should stop for a moment and consider who the person is, what he/she stands for. Would you work well with that person? Does his/her character mirror yours? Does his/her values tie in well with yours? Thinking is fun. We should all try it.

Think. THINK! Use your common sense - Mrs Chan

So before you decide to give your hearts to ANYONE, I hope people will look into what they are doing. Don't let your feelings cloud your judgement, people.

Then again, nobody's gonna listen, right? Gah, I'm wasting my time again. The ramblings of a little boy who thinks too much. Maybe all this rambling will kill spies. That's good, then I save Google some bandwidth.

Goodnight, spies. I hope the smarter ones got anything I have just said, and will actually put it into practice. It would result in fewer divorces.

The Transport Angle

2007-08-20T21:29:00.000-07:00

Today, I hate the transport system.

One might call it a bad day for me. Drawing the short straw. I call it a bad time with the taxis and the buses. The buses aren't so bad: they still come eventually. The taxis are the ones which I have real gripes against: Some are slow. Being slow isn't their fault all the time. I just happened to get one who loved to be slow.

It was a blue morning and I was running late. I get a taxi, goodie me. But this taxi driver was no ordinary taxi driver. He was talkative, slow, hypocritical and talkative. Talking about how people always are in a rush in the morning. He's driving like it's a sunny Sunday morning, where all is fine and dandy, and nobody is in a rush. Unfortunately, his two passengers WERE in a rush. Oh yeah, did I mention that I brought a friend with me this morning? Well, now you do.

So never mind the idiot driver who spent a disproportionately large amount energy on his mouth compared to his driving speed. He left us outside the school gate, which is normal. Then we started running. Real hard. Thing is that we didn't get there on time anyway. By 5 SECONDS! We were 20 meters from the door when they started closing on us! One might blame the taxi driver. I take it all in my stride, I guess, being the silent sufferer and all.

Stupid taxi, never mind. Detention, never mind. These are ordinary things, right? Day in, day out. It's gonna be okay at the end of the day.

Since when today got okay one?

I walked to Holland V. (Thankfully I walked, if not I would spend more time waiting for the bus) to get my bus, which USUALLY comes every 15 minutes. Or so. Today, "Or so" applies. I got there at 6.20. The bus came at 6.45.

25 freaking minutes. I am so enjoying this. Holding a heavy black folder, hoping hard that the thing wont break from all the weight of its content, and the bus takes 45 minutes.

Okay, maybe the bus driver had too little coffee. Maybe he went to sleep and missed his time slot. That's okay, I miss my time slot for school all too often too anyway.

Which is what happened. I overslept on the bus. Ended up walking off at Little India, costing me another 35 cents to take another bus to go home.

Yeah, I drew the short straw. I hope this doesn't happen ever again. If it does, then spies must be at play. I will start playing quick draw using six-shots on you all. Makes for good target practice for me.

Hmm, this is rather long. I think I will call it quits for today. Good night, spies. If you need something to drink, try some rocket fuel. Guaranteed to set your heart ablaze.... well, along with the rest of your body, but what the heck.

Happy Birthday Indeed.

2007-08-18T01:14:00.000-07:00

What it says.

First of all, I would like to say that I am elated. Ecstatic, Overjoyed, Happy, all of the above and many more. On top of getting caked and having been threatened by friends to eat cake (Failure to voluntary take the cake will result in being GIVEN the cake face-plant style), I have come to the realisation that not everything is black and dark and dank and musty and smelly.... blah blah blah. Some things are good after all, and I can see that that is clearly evident even now. People don't usually do things beyond themselves that often. They save it for special occasions. Like now.

No, I am not praising myself under the excuse of my birthday. I am acknowledging that my birthday IS a special event, as evidenced by a big (fine lah, small) birthday party thing (can you call singing around a cake a party?).

I have also regained what I used to have lost. There are things out there which were very valuable. HOWEVER, being a bumbling fool I am, I have lost those things. Now they have come back to me. Such things I must enjoy whilst I still can, without looking back ever again as to how I lost them. To leave such things for dead is a terrible blunder now.

Oh, sweet sweet Red Faction. How I have missed playing you.

But really, I do have gained things this birthday. I have gained friends. I have fixed some broken things. Now I feel like I can take on anything. You can write that down. I won't feel bad ever. Well, maybe at least for a day or two. Yes, even I have my high time, spies. Don't get cocky yet and try to assassinate me, I will still own you.

I just want to revel in my happiness first. Good night, spies. (It's getting late anyway)

Torn

2007-08-15T22:36:00.000-07:00

Such a strange song... Yet such a funny way to mime it. Where to find it? Go look for yourself on youtube, you filthy spies. I'm not going to spoonfeed you all.

When I look at the mime, I realise how good he is. Do you know how vivid his expressions are? You would need to practice it for months on end just to reach his skill and level. And look at how smooth his change of countenance is, as well as his body language! Such flawless talent and impeccable standards of non-verbal expression! Things like this give me a sense of happiness, that there are other things in life than tutorials and lectures. Perhaps one day I too will figure out a song to dissect and mime out accordingly, and entertain everyone with.

Perhaps. For now, I shall continue to indulge in tutorials and lectures.

And now on to self-intepretation.

I have listened to my own style of humour and have come to the realisation that my humour reflects my character. Duh. I also believe that music helps to change my attitude slightly, which explains why listening to emo artists and bands make me emo. How sad. To become what I always have had something to say against because of a few songs. Therefore, I have deployed a countermeasure by dumping the emo songs from my memory. I now replace them with other songs. Songs which you probably never have heard before because all you have heard are tunes straight from the emo empire. That's why you all are spies, right? Right? RIGHT? Hai.

I have recently heard insidious rumours that my birthday is coming soon. Since it is coming soon, people will mock me for having my birthday where I become soft and lower my guard. Then you all will attack me en masse. I assure you, IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN. You know why? YOU KNOW WHY? My birthday is NOT coming soon! Too bad! Now you all will have to figure out some other, better way to kill me. The en masse idea would still work, I guess... nah, maybe not. I will get myself a M249 machine gun, and kill YOU ALL Rambo-style. (Well, actually it is coming. 18.8)

OK, time for me to bid this blog farewell. For now. Take care. Don't fall into any spike pits. If you do, nobody would read my entries anymore. Then blogging would be pointless...

Spider-Pig

2007-08-13T21:51:00.000-07:00

With great pau comes great packaging.

To commemorate this beginning of the week, let me humiliate myself. I have burned. Oh yes. Burned! Burned people beyond what I could have ever contemplated. By doing so, people thereby feel sad, sometimes even angry, and shun me. For the avoidance of this supposed doomsday event I have tried to be nice. Oh yes.

But keyword is TRIED. Good people do mess up every now and then you know... >.<

Well, I have to say upon this point that I have burned people. Burned, I say. And to go on with this burning is a silly thing. In my ecstasy of finding friends, I have burned them away. What a sad ending. I will always be alone, never truly understood, and I will wither away. All you will find left of me is rotted remains of a body, with slitted wrists.

But it's not gonna happen.

I am going to learn from this silly mistake. I will survive! No more emo me! I will overcome!

At least, for the next few weeks.

Well, in short, I have decided to cut the Mockery Series. More like suspend it indefinitely. Or cancelling. Whatever. They're both the same, right? RIGHT? Right.

Well, on a somewhat lighter note, I have decided to embark upon a random topic. Hang on...

Maclaurin's. No, it has nothing to do with racing. Unless you're referring to speed tests. Maths. Some people do maths too, just not Maclaurin's. But I do Maclaurin's. I can tell you that I don't cringe in fear over the word, because there simply is nothing to cringe in fear over. It's the phrase. "TEST on Maclaurin's".

I cringe in terror, not just fear.

Why? I didn't study for it. And if I don't study for it, which I probably won't anyway, I will suffer the most utterly terrible consequences, whereby I will be poked by iron hot metal sticklike objects, suffering the most exquisite pain.

At least, in my mind that is.

But in reality, it will be much worse. I will fail the test, since I didn't study much for integration either (and I probably won't anyway), and as integration pretty much makes up another half. Then I will be mocked by my friends because I couldn't so much as finish the test, humiliating me beyond my wildest dreams and slowly ostracising me (I have to advertise this word, it sounds so nice. Ostracise). Then I will be all alone, which was what I had set out for about a year ago anyway. How saddening.

That was a year ago though. Don't know about today. Maybe not today... xD

Okay, this is a prety long one, looks like I gotta go. Goodnight spies. Perhaps I will one day clobber you all with my abacus. Hey, it's metal, pretty hard too.

Post-BBQ Mocking

2007-08-11T23:29:00.000-07:00

Hmm... Something tells me that you spies are trickier than I thought... Sending your clients to my house to see for themselves how crappy it is. Then when they summon mercenaries to attack me, I *supposedly* won't be ready for the intrusion. Well, you're all WRONG! I have guns, they're stocking up even now in a warehouse somewhere, so don't get your hopes up yet!

And now on with the mocking.

`Ris. My gosh, she keeps thinking in a vivid sense of paranoia that she's eating too much, and that one day, all that eating will creep back up to her in the form of making her fat. My response is "Why worry when you're already fat?" Ooh, if she reads at this, she might become emo, slit her wrists, and die, crying over how fat she is.

Good.

We could use one less person in the class. Hehehe...

On a less mean and menacing note (LESS, hint hint), I have noticed that she is the freaking opposite of what I was only about 8 months ago. All that screaming and screeching. How does anyone get along with her? It astounds me even now. The way she screams, it's a wonder why she hasn't been sued for ten million yen for being an absolute public nuisance. Henceforth, I shall carry with me a pair of earplugs whenever I am around her. My ears have many years of life, why should I lose my ears by listening to her screaming/screeching?

All right, that's enough mocking. I think she's gonna do something drastic to me like slap my face if I keep going. Maybe I should wear a crash helmet to school. Just in case.

Well, what to say about the BBQ... Oh yeah, it was a bit slow at first. Tried hard to pick things up with a cool innovative board game. And what I expected to have happen, happened. My good friend got bullied. By girls! THAT'S not the way it should be. But no, he condescends to the point where he allows himself to be bullied by GIRLS. BY GIRLS. I almost want to cry out of sympathy for him.

Or maybe, in a sheer act of enduance, he wants to show other people that he can tahan all the crap dished out to him. In doing so, he would exude a sense of inner strength, which equates to power. With this subtle display of power, girls all around would flock toward him because they would be able to see what few can see, and he will become popular at the expense of every other boy in the school. Then all the other guys would beat him up in a bid to get their girls back. And then I would have to see my good friend in hospital, and by then I HOPE he can even tell his family and friends his last requests before he falls forever into a dissociative coma, followed by DEATH. Death, such an end to his blissful existence.

All right, I think I have commented on enough people today. Goodnight, spies. I think I will send an agent to discover all your identities. Then I will kill you samurai-style (chop chop?)

Class BBQ

2007-08-09T23:45:00.000-07:00

Well hello spies, and I guess some of you might already know, but I am holding a BBQ! Or what I dread to be a spies' open house. Don't worry, my house is laid with death traps, one false move and you will suffer various means of deaths, including death by tickle.

And now on to the mocking.

Siow. Nothing much here, just that he is very aptly named. Keeps going "arh". Acts pretty dumb too. Sometimes I wonder if he IS really dumb. OH WAIT, he IS dumb. What was I saying? Top boy in school? Pah. No such thing. I'll be darned if he beats ME in anything. If he acts like a retard, he's GOTTA be a retard. No two ways about that. And if you look at him long enough, you will realise that he's pretty short too. I mean, come on, when you look at him, you have to look down. To see his hair. You could walk over him without even realising it. That's how bad it is. Oh yeah, did I mention that he's got an explosive violent temper too? At least, when you call him siow. Which confirms my theory that he is beyond siow, as a matter of fact.

OK, enough mocking. I hope he doesn't see this entry and "fly" me to the moon and leave me there. How then am I supposed to get back?

The Mockery Series

2007-08-07T20:50:00.000-07:00

Good evening spies, you must have waited long. Can I interest you to a drink maybe? Some arsenic, or maybe some sulphuric acid?

I have decided to scrap the Ah Beng concept: it's just too ah beng for me to make it my style. Instead, I will lash out randomly every now and then at people who I think don't deserve it! That way, I will have transgressed against everyone, everyone will hate me, and I will become emo, slit my wrists, and die a slow painful death. Then you all won't have to read this blog ever again. Yay.

Now let's see, who to make fun of today...

OK, I'll make fun of myself, since I have to set an example so that nobody can say "You're being unfair! Never look at yourself!" Here I go...

The target (hereby referred to as Mr. X, since you spies will kill me the moment you know my name). Mr X.? More like Mr. Xtra. Look at him. Act so big. Want to save the world issit? Hah. He can't even save himself from homework. What a fool. Doesn't know when enough is enough. Look at him, that bumbling idiot. Fidgeting like he can't stand still. And every time he buys something, he's gotta act like some waiter. Think what, scared results fail, then at least can try for Shatek issit? Top 10%? More like Bottom 10%. He got an S for Econs! He failed! FAILED! Now if that does not make him an imbecile, I don't know WHAT will. Econs is so easy! Use common sense oso can win. But nooooo, he has absolutely no common sense. I pity this fool, the agony of life he has to endure everyday as people cannot help but laugh at him.

OK, I'm done.

Looks like I'll be making fun of others soon. Stay tuned! :P

Gangshow 2oo7

2007-08-05T00:28:00.000-07:00

Well yeah, since I happened to attend a gangshow, I'll blog about it too.

Being a Senior Venture and all (whoa whoa title title), I had no posting. Mainly because I was not well aware of whatever was going on. Or because I couldn't help anyway. Whatever. Anyway, there was a sense of work. For the most of it. Eventually, even the best had to slack too. Especially me. I was stateless, you see. Or one might put it, at a state of rest. I needed a net external force (Get it? Ahh ha ha ha.)

Ha.

Well, gangshow was fun. I hope you weren't there. Filthy spies. Definitely lots of laughs. Cross dressers, flashing lights, successful impromptu additions to skits. The works. You should have seen it. On the other hand, maybe not. You would have all been killed by me. Yes, now I have a gun. It shoots pretty yellow pellets at a whopping 30 km/h! Don't pray pray ah, you will all die by my (toy) gun! Muahahahaha.

Ha?

Well, my friends (I HAVE friends? Of course, you idiotic peeps), they couldn't come. My leader had to veto, which kinda sucked. Oh wait, maybe he was afraid that I might be inviting spies. What a shame. He didn't know the power of my (toy) gun. You don't want to experience the power of my (toy) gun. It can make a pop sound. You don't want my gun to make a pop sound, do you?

Goodnight to you all spies. Well, maybe you should hope I don't bring a (toy) gun to school then. Everyone will die. Then I can do whatever I want to your corpses. Maybe I'll draw on your faces with a marker pen, or even chop...

Flu for a Week

2007-08-01T20:26:00.000-07:00

You know, I've heard of Sustained Achievement Awards, which are supposed to be a good thing. But having sustained a flu for a week, and having a flu is an excuse to pon classes, making it an achievement, does that mean I get a Sustained Achievement Award too? Boy, I would want one. But no, MOE says SAAs only are given to schools. Dooh.

Good evening spies, I hoped you all failed your term exams. Oh, you don't take term exams? Darn it. I hope you all fail in whatever you did lately then. Oh with the entry.

Oh yeah, I will be experimenting with a new feature for my entries every now and then. Keep a look out -- oh yeah, you're a spy. Never mind.

Ah Beng News (1st Entry, hopefully not the last)

OK, this is my first report. Don'ch mind my engrish, I know it's quite the powderful but no need to make fun of it arh. Good...

Today I talk on someone who, for reason I oso dont know, I have change the name one. I call her OLH lah ah... Aiyah, she very one kind one. If Ah Beng go to her class, sure kena arrow straightaway one. Her engrish must be super zhai one. And then she oso want everyone's engrish to oso be super zhai, even spell big word got one missing letter inside oso kena. Plus some more cannot say chinese. Malay can, Tamil can, but no Chinese. Wah seh! She Chinese don'ch like Chinese! Very off sia! Hokkien I dunno yet, but got feeling she oso don'ch enjoy. If you say Chinese hor, she whack you one, make you make a speech in perfect Engrish. If Ah Beng have to do that ah, will pai seh one, confirmed si liao. I si liao how to read news to you? So I must don'ch allow myself to go one, if not will die.
____________________________________________________

Disclaimer: This report is purely fictional, but contains some elements of truth. Only one person in this article exists, and that person is subject to caricature. This report, nor its owner, Ah Beng, can be held liable for damages to reputation as Ah Beng technically does not exist. The owner of this blog is deeply sorry for any damages to reputation exacted, and wishes to prevent such occurences. He has solely pledged to land-mine his keyboard as a deterrent to spies breaking in and adding in the report.

Good night, spies. And with some creativity, maybe you will decide to blog too, and become fellow victims like me. Hey, you get a place in my fellow victims section, that's something.

The noose

2007-07-30T23:32:00.000-07:00

Well, life as usual.

Hello spies, I'd like to write to a blog, but unfortunately, I'm all out of time. Which is rather typical of JC life, since everyone is working anyway. Must be all you spies, working very hard to give me a hell of a time doing homework, hooking me on games and throwing everything you can throw just to make sure I cannot blog. Which is pretty stupid of you, because NEWSFLASH, I'm still blogging. But heck, I still gotta do what I gotta do. Let's get this on.

WR. Not Whack-a-Retard. Written Report. More like Work, no Relax. Anyway, I have to do 2 parts of it. I'm like, WHAT? Two parts?! That's like two strokes of the feather. Well, what to do. Somehow, some way, I managed to finish it after two grueling hours and about 20 replays of the same songs. Yeah, I'm funny that way.

All right, hastily working through this entry has left me short-handed. This sucks. But don't worry spies, happier days are ahead. I will build longer entries soon. In the meantime, don't touch that off button. I'll be back.

Not Again...

2007-07-28T03:39:00.000-07:00

4 days again. I am becoming an embarrassment to myself. Eventually I will become psychotic. Then I will finally not worry about being spied on. Did any one of you die, by any chance? If so, GOOD.

Bwahahaha. I AM becoming psychotic.

Back to the post.

I went to the doctor to get me an excuse for not coming to school. Legitimately. I had some strange condition the doctor gave an equally strange name to. Phloo? Prune? Shoe? Oh yea, the flu, he said. He slapped me 2 days MC and a glass bottle containing some vile, sticky fluid labelled "Diphenhydramine HCl". To those stupider spies out there who have absolutely no clue what that is, it's COUGH SYRUP. So 3 days it was in total that I conked out of school, and people were starting to get worried about me. Or maybe that was just me...

Well, having this flu has had its toll on me. Too sian to do ANYTHING. Which explains why I asked for 2 days MC instead of 1. Sleep was good, but in the end work still needs to be done. I cries. Work work.

Well, I'm too tired to blog. Good evening spies. Rest assured I won't go to bed without a gun in hand, so don't try to assassinate me. I have my guard dog just for infidels like you.

Tired

2007-07-25T09:29:00.000-07:00

AGAIN, I am 4 days off the previous entry.

I must persevere. Even if it costs me my promos. Ok, maybe not my promos. It's just that plenty of things have been happening lately that I can't control.

There aren't that many things I have absolute control over anyway. I can't even type properly without making any errors. I guess that's why typos do exist in everyone's daily lives, because everyone makes typos.

Argh. I'm becoming incoherent. Time to end off soon...

This will be a rather short entry since I'm being drugged by cough syrup. Yes, fortunately for you spies, I am suffering from the flu. Did one of you happen to poison my food? Because if you did, it sure worked. Unfortunately for you, I get to rest at home for 2 whole days. Slacking and all that you all can never do unless you are all at home. Hah. Take that.

OK, now my brain is tired. Good day, spies.

Un-professional

2007-07-21T07:58:00.000-07:00

Given the time taken for me to find out who is a spy, looks like I'll never find a spy. Maybe that's because I've never really figured out a spy, thus leaving me no clue as to how long it's gonna take to find one. I'm not as pro as I thought after all...

All this time thinking about random things, I've realised I have a certain style. The Aussie humour style. Which apparently caused my downfall in many formal events which required a different tinge of humour. Maybe I need training in different aspects of presentations because I've been working too hard on social humour, rather than professional humour. Unfortunately, I find that difficult to work on, since I for one believe that no one is inherently better than anyone else as a whole, therefore forbidding me from acting professional since it involves a sort of hierarchy, which in turn involves superior and inferior people. Everyone is a human being, yes? Since everyone has that in common, I therefore cannot stand people who act superior to others, and do my best not to lash out at them with derogratory comments. I mean, where is the justice? Someone goes strutting around school, arrogantly making pompous remarks whilst maintaining a "can't-touch-me" attitude. Oh, eventually someone is gonna do more than just touch that someone. Somewhere along the lines of a fist...

I was talking (more like preaching) to my good friend, and he was direct enough (smart guy) to tell me in the face "I'm not gonna let you sway me from my Methodist faith". Erm, believe what you want, but wouldn't it be better to listen? Knowing both sides of the story is definitely better than ignorantly believing whatever you want to believe. If you listen, you can evalutate whatever was presented to you. Evaluate, evaluate, evaluate. If you still don't believe my message, fine. But don't go crying to anyone if I do turn out to be right.

WHEN I turn out to be right.

All right, that was some heavy stuff. I'm gonna log off now. Revel in your ignorance too spies, maybe I'll inadvertently preach to one of you too...

Oh no

2007-07-19T20:03:00.000-07:00

What an embarrassment.

Of all the things for me to do. How could I perform such a heinous act of terrorism? Wouldst all of you slaughter me in the name of all things good and pink? And to think I was doing so well...

I blogged 1 day late.

Oh well. Water under the bridge now. Moving on to the actual message.

It was a chemistry practical today... oops, I mean chem tutorial which was supposed to be a slack practical, but since the teacher is stubborn, she changed it to become a lame tutorial. Fortunately for me, I had a means of entertainment. It's called a Rubik's cube. You know, that cube thingy with colours on it. Rather twisty too, if I do say so myself. Anyway, I was solving the cube thingy in plain sight, and she didn't even bother. Either she couldn't be bothered or she was unaware of the blatant infringement of basic courtesy. So anyway, I was solving the cube for the FOURTH TIME because every time I want to prance around my classmates with the completed cube, SOMEONE just has to snatch it from my innocent hands, and go twisty with the cube. They conveniently forget what they did to the cube, and say "How to fix ah?"

Diao.

Needless to say, being a pro and all, I decided to fix the cube. Took me the entire chem tutorial to finish it. Unfortunately, I may be a pro, but there are masters out there who finish the cube in mere minutes. How humiliating. I may never be the master after all. I cries.

But one thing I know. I'm the master within my social circle, that's for sure. Makes me feel so much better...

I guess that sums up. Goodnight spies, for all I know, you are in my social circle too... In that case, you'd better watch your back, I might just stab it.....

Staunch

2007-07-15T21:37:00.000-07:00

Good evening spies, hope I didn't keep you waiting...

Assuming that you spies are good enough to do a good job spying on me, you would have noticed that I like to change my style of humour every now and then to keep myself valid and constantly evolving with the times. Perhaps, IF there happens to be a pattern of fluctuation in which my styles change (SHM? lol), you might have decided to inform your employers to jack me using a counter-humour during a given time, and make me feel stupid, plunging me into a bout of depression I will never recover from because I will commit suicide by drinking cyanide for being unable to entertain my peers anymore. Fortunately for me, there ISN'T a pattern in which my humour changes. Sometimes I wonder if it changes at all. Argh, I'm back to square one.

I remember having this strange argument with a girl from some OG (Can't rmb name, although they WERE going with us to Fish & Co.) about religion. She was Catholic you see, and being not-Catholic and stuff, I decided to delve into a random discussion. And then OGL Jared gave this comment I would like to shoot today.

"What's the difference in having different religions? We all worship the same God, so we all go to Heaven."

I beg to differ.

What is worshipping? Worshipping is to love or admire something or someone very greatly. Since we're talking about worshipping God, we can assume, based on the above statement, that Muslims, Jews and Christians alike love God very greatly. Yet does worshipping God equate to going to Heaven? Let's look a bit into the Old Testament, since all 3 religions hold this part of the Bible to be true. In Genesis, Adam and Eve ate some fruit thing causing them to forever have sin, along with all their descendants, including us, unless you're a dog, which probably includes you spies. It also says that since God is holy, he cannot abide with sin-ridden people, and thus cannot bring them to heaven. So how do you get rid of sin? You become holy, which means having no sin. Wow, sounds rather big now, doesn't it? This is where we break off this common religious ideas thing and start scrutinizing the New Testament.

Most of you spies know about how Jesus died on the Cross so that all our sins would be "washed away". What not so many of us know, and even more refuse to acknowledge, is that there's something you still gotta do to cash in on this marvellous, nearly one-sided bargain. Let's increase magnification. Mark 16:16 "Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned." Ooh. Condemn. You might be thinking," This coming from the Bible? That's rather strong." Well, let me consolidate my point and cross-reference to another section of the Bible. John 3:5-6 "Unless you are born of water and the Spirit, you cannot enter the kingdom of God" Since we can safely assume that the Kingdom of God is Heaven and not Hell, since God is holy, and Heaven is a holy place, giving rise to the assertion that God resides in Heaven, making it the Kingdom of God, you must be born of water and of the Spirit to go to Heaven. But that's going further.

My point is that every religion points out a way to go to Heaven, some similar, some completely different. I just happen to believe that one and only one way exists. If you believe that everything I said here is not true, then go home, and plot to kill me by stuffing anthrax into the mail. I'll be waiting...

Well, that was pretty. I'll be expecting some mail soon. Now where did I put that Hazmat suit?

Gone Scouting

2007-07-12T20:11:00.000-07:00

Since I don't have much time at the moment, I shall bore you all with some random point. Maybe that will get you all off your lousy computers soon enough.

NEWater. Why NEWater? It's certainly not new. It's been around for about 20 plus years already, and if the 'in' thing gets old after a few months, what makes NEWater so different that it should be NEW? But no, it's called NEWater, so therefore it will always be NEW. At least it has some good use, it being completely free of impurities and stuff. I can use it to clean my chem equipment. Goodbye distilled water, hello NEWater. Oh wait, they did mention adding some sodium for no particular reason. That makes it tap water. Dooh. So much for reverse osmosis. It's probably septic too. Crawling with germs and viruses that leaked through when they bottled the water. How are you supposed to use this NEWater when it's not what it's reputed to be? Still, it makes good drinking water. We got it free yesterday too :D (Hmm, does that make it FREEwater?) The only problem is that the bottles are rather small. If they used bigger bottles, they would have used less plastic. This is called unnecessary pollution and wastage, which hurts the precious environment. Despite everyone being hyped up over this Earth Day thing (07.07.07), it's rather surprising that nobody even noticed that they were contributing to our destruction. To atone for my sin of drinking a bottle, I shall hold my breath for a full ten seconds to offset the carbon dioxide produced in making that bottle... 1... 2... 3... Argh, I'm too weak to hold my breath.

Well, I hope that is enough. Maybe I should hold a spy open house. Then you can all enter, and face my death traps. Hehehe...

Illusion of Adequacy

2007-07-09T22:26:00.000-07:00

I shall tell a story. Yes, it's that stupid Aaron story, you equally stupid spies. Oh wait, the Aaron stories weren't that stupid. Fine. You all are even more retarded, then.

Aaron had received his exam results. 2 Solid A's! He silently rejoiced. But a slight feeling of bitterness swept over him. He wasn't the best in any subject anymore. There were others now which easily overtook his A's to get 80% and above. He felt bitter at himself, almost even jealous of those other classmates. As he sat at his table staring at his results, he thought to himself, "I used to be the best at least in something. What am I to own in now?"

A voice in his head answered back," You already own in something."

Aaron then realised that he was the class joker. He had asked himself a rhetorical question.

Aaron pondered further. "What about not owning and being the best in any one subject?" Then came the reply, "Who says you need to own in school?". Aaron had asked himself two rhetorical questions in a row.

Now that this Aaron story is *officially* discontinued, I shall be giving clips of Aaron stories because it is *unofficially* not over yet. You spies better brace yourselves for such a time. You won't get so much ample warning.

After school saw an SMC meeting. I was runnning for the comittee. The Executive Committee. It is a somewhat prestigious post consisting of a helm of heads, which administer to different sectors of the SMC. Kind of like a bureaucracy. But who's complaining. Anyway, I signed up to try for Head of Enrichment (Edutainment maybe? lol) But obviously things are not what they seemed. I didn't cut it this round. Round 2 is coming up soon though, maybe I still can make it. Root for me, spies. Oh wait, you all are too selfish to root for anyone but yourselves. Might as well start killing each other to stay in control. Then you make my job of killing you easier. Hehehe.

Okay, I think this is around long enough. Maybe I should end off here.

Post 51

2007-07-07T18:01:00.000-07:00

Welcome. To post 51. What a sunny afternoon. Perfect for torturing spies hehehe...

Since I am completely wasting at home playing computer, only to stop at mealtimes and sleeptimes, I shall hereby digress from my original train of thought, and talk about a random topic. Oh wait, my train of thought WAS random. Oh well. Maybe I just need to get off playing. In that case, I need someone to pull me off the comp and go walking about a bit. Perhaps a girlfriend will suffice. Let's see... if I somehow get a girlfriend, I would probably be too busy trying to go out with her to play the computer. Even better if she wants me to go out with her. pipipi. But something might go horribly wrong. She might ask me to go shopping with her. urgh. Shopping. Might as well ask me to scrape dirt off the sidewalk. I think that's much more fun. Rather than walking around an air-conditioned mall (I don't complain about this), gazing longingly at items you know you will never buy, and never intend to buy anyway. Poisoning yourself with all that eye candy. On top of that, you would have to waltz through assorted women's sections, where you get to see your lover screen through all kinds of clothing which I do not intend to further elaborate on for the sake of not being rated PG. And she might leave you standing like an idiot outside the changing room when she tries on a new... I refuse to continue for the sake of not being rated NC16. Furthermore, not that it happens all the time, but your soulmate might buy too many things, leaving you to carry the shopping bags till you can do 5 more pull-ups than when you started the shopping. Good news for me then xP

Guy spies might concur with me on what I've said, but the girl spies might go "No true!". Talk to the hand, er, screen. I don't care what you think. pipipi.

Oh hey, that was random.

Argh, still gotta do EoM. Farewell spies. Good luck not falling into death traps.

It's over!

2007-07-04T23:20:00.000-07:00

The war is over! The war is over! No, this isn't a re-enactment of the Matrix, just the exams. I hereby steel myself for proper school once again. Here I come, evil demons.

The workload will increase, therefore I must try not to linger on old happenings, like that bunch of grapes which I cannot seem to reach. They refuse to come any lower for me to reach them because I can only reach so far. Once again I stand rooted below those grapes, with two choices: walk away, or try even harder. If I walk away, this bunch of grapes will surely die, because the tree is on fire! If I stay here and try again and again until I shiok, then the fire will get me too. What should I do, what should I do... T_T

School is becoming quite a pressure cooker now, with students literally scrambling just to keep up with the work. Apparently 4 subjects are worse than 9. I'm surviving. I'll survive. Don't worry about me, worry about yourselves, you foreign devils. Go back to whence you came, and start mugging. Go on, I'm waiting right here.

Oi. Go lah.

Argh, never mind. Maybe ending off here will send you all off.

Un-ordinary Message

2007-07-02T23:51:00.000-07:00

Yay it's the second half of the year. The second quarter of my JC life is officially in effect. Hopefully it would turn out a cleaner beginning than the first quarter did.

I don't think you spies should be allowed to see what I'm about to write. Heck, you shouldn't even be reading whatever I post on this blog, but here you are. I'm gonna have to live with it I guess >.<

To wrap up the first quarter of JC life, I would like to state that what I have done, I have done. I regret nothing that I did during the last 6 months. Except maybe not going 4 Ventures enough... T_T I know of my run-in with BGR, and to the opposing party, I maintain my stand as described in the above statement. But this does not mean that I enjoyed what I did either. I view everything that has transpired as a six-month long practical. A super real practical. So in short, I don't hate you. Instead I thank you, for all the lessons you have helped me to learn. I must thank God for all this as well, for reasons I leave you all to figure out.

And so we walked our separate ways. I know I was affected by the sudden shock. I'm not sure about her. Now I look back once again, with a look of faith. Faith that someday peace will be restored.

You said once that you wanted to change me. I guess you did. Now it's my turn to return the favour. To end off, maybe just a question.

Can we wipe the slate clean, PhiJ? Tis' madness for me to say this, but perhaps it can happen.

Come on, I won't bite.

Youth Day's Eve

2007-06-29T23:59:00.000-07:00

Finally the written work is over. For this week.

Physics paper was today. Can't say much, don't want to say much in fact. I get thoroughly embarrassed by the nitty-gritty mistakes I make in my paper. Therefore I hate after-exam chatter regarding the paper. Unless it's about questions I got right. Then I gloat in the presence of others who got it wrong. But hey, weren't we all like that before?

Physics paper was settled, so I went out with some d00ds from 1SA1, BuoWei and 'Ris. We went out to some ulu place in the middle of Jurong East to eat jap. Never mind it being next to the station and the library. OK fine, maybe it's not ulu after all. Anyway, after the eating and joking session, we went to stand outside some X-Zone one floor up. And watch. Just watch. Time Crisis 4 was fun to watch. For about 15minutes. Then the girls got bored. What girls. So we left for our little homes to scrim and pub. I prefer pubbing. Pubbing = Public Server Surfing. Gotta remember that one so I can confuse all you spies next time. Ha ha.

OK, I'm running late now, don't wanna keep you spies running on espresso. Good night one and all.

Island in Exam Waters

2007-06-27T23:00:00.000-07:00

Hah, I knew I didn't take DEP for a reason...

Anyway, back to the analysis.

The class is closely interlinked with the entire school, with friends of students all over the school network. Yes, now I'm talking about the entire school, so sit tight and listen like innocent little spies. Oops, my bad, spies aren't innocent. Anyhoo, the students in class belong to a wide variety of CCAs in school like Canoeing (The gym till shiok CCA), Club Interact (Interactive as in Interactive gaming?), Student Council (The bureaucrat CCA), and even Scholars' and Muggers' Council (Self-explanatory). Despite the close inter-relationship with the rest of the school, the class is largely either unaware of this social advantage, or wishes not to over-exploit this advantage. The latter is more likely, given that the average student in class is a creature with a heart too. The class considers itself more as a body by itself rather than part of a huge web called the school network, and acts as such. However, there are exceptions. Some students in class have good relationships with friends from other classes, and tend to interact with those students well. However, this branching out of the class network is restricted to those sole individuals, and the class is mostly left out of these links. This could be as the students in class have not built a strong enough relationship with each other yet, and don't know each other enough to begin knowing their friends.

Oh well, this is becoming boring now. Should I conclude my analysis here and now? Sounds like a very good idea.... Nah. Not here.

How about here?

Or here?

Here maybe?

OK fine, I'll just end it right here. And oh yeah, goodnight spies. Want to see a pig fly? Look in the mirror when I throw you into the air.

Terms Day 1

2007-06-25T22:23:00.000-07:00

Good evening spies, and I hope you know where your axe is. You don't have an axe now? Well, soon you will have one. Down your back...

Well, I might as well continue my analysis of the class network. Here I go...

Our class bond relationship whatchamacallit is actually quite a platonic one, with an almost absolute lack of romance running amongst its students. The guys, naturally, appear more reserved than girls, although this is mainly because more men tend to perceive open emotional acts as loss of control, in this case, over the self, and draw back from such doings based on their need for power, and subsequently, control. Girls, conversely, are less introverted than guys, and for some reason, steer the class in most of the decision-making e.g. buying the class sweater. This could be as women tend to make aesthetic decisions better than men, as evidenced by the wives of most happily complete families choosing what colour the wallpaper should be or if a jade trinket looks good and where in the house to put it. Since most of the decisions in class involve aesthetics, I infer that girls make most of the decisions in class.

If the amount of socialising done is based on how many words are exchanged or how much time is spent in the socialising, I must admit that the girls in class are more socially connected than the guys. Peculiar things. I find that girls tend to be more vocal than guys in pretty much everything, and perhaps even less secretive, although I will have to research further for more conclusive results regarding this stand. The class in general still holds a concern for studies despite all this intense socialising, and sometimes can be seen as mugger toads flipping through lecture notes, even more so during the exam term.

Disclaimer: I do not presume to be an expert on boys and girls. This is my assertion of my class, and the rationales behind it. You don't want to believe it, fine. Go live your sorry lives, but don't come running back to me if I happen to be right.

A word of warning to JC spies out there... What good things you may have may not be inherently good. Let me find an unexpected example. Aha. Let's say you're a hot J1 girl. Really pretty. Like those from perhaps SCGS, MGS or maybe even a spare few from Swiss Cottage (I'm not sure where you find the really chio ones, I'm not the one scouting for such things). The general assumption is that being hot is a blessing because many women would want your looks. Plastic surgery bears testimony to how critical women look at themselves. Bust enhancement too. But aside from ladies admiring your hot-ness, let's look further at the social implications of being pretty.

Being pretty also means gaining the attention of the boys. Quite a few of them have not known what it is to have a GF, so being n00b and all, they see you, and go in their minds "Wow, she's hot, maybe I should get to know her", and they fumble to construct what it is like to woo a girl. Initially the messages are subtle, maybe a smile, a clean joke or even an SMS with a smiley on it (^_^). In fact, they could be so subtle, you see him as just trying to be a friend, so you reply in kind, unknowingly encouraging him to continue, with the messages becoming bolder and bolder. Soon you will find yourself stuck in something you slowly lose control over. In desperation to end the skirt-chasing you might tell him sternly to stop it.

And the madness might die down, but the damage is already done. By inadvertently being sucked into a relationship you didn't want, your virgin concept of no-BGR is broken: Your idea of being immune to intimacy as long as you stay the platonic course is completely debased. He is also emotionally shattered: The girl he liked just rejected him. Nobody wins.

"But hey," you may ask. "I don't know about any such stories happening in real life." I would suggest that you don't hear these stories because many of them go un-noticed, them being embarrassing periods of people's lives. Even if you were the best friend of one of those who experienced it, you probably wouldn't hear a peep from them about it. "But hey," you may interrupt again,"I AM a hot girl, does this mean that you are condemning me to suffering such?" Does one have to feel the pain of cut feet to know that stepping on glass will cut your feet? No! You can still avoid the pain if you know how to nip the problem in the bud (wear shoes when walking glass? lol). For this I like the overused police statement: "Whatever you say or do can and will be used against you." It's a bit strong, but quite applicable here anyway. Take note of what you say to others. What you say can and will be intepreted by the other party differently from what you wanted it to mean.

I don't want to impress upon you, the spy, that I am some expert in BGR, a psychologist with a fat paycheck which you can kidnap for ransom. I'm just a lowly guy with a little bit of experience. All I want to say is that in short, know what exactly you are doing before you go along doing it. Sounds a bit leh-chey to do so (whoa, how will saying this influence him/her?), but it can save you from a lot of pain.

Oh well, I've blasted beyond what I should have. I should end off here, this entry is becoming quite long anyway. I hope people won't get livid over my arguments and start pulling out tommy guns from their pockets and blast away at my house. Then I would have to spend hundreds to fix the wallpaper.

Skool Soon

2007-06-23T16:17:00.000-07:00

Good afternoon spies, do you know what the inside of a car crusher looks like? You don't know? That's okay, neither do I.

Since today was generally boring, I will, in honour of a friend in class, go into a short, but lengthy analysis of my class network. Which equates to pointless musing. But what the heck.

Disclaimer: This analysis is entirely factual, but subject to debate. Any similarity to any persons, cats, dogs or cabbages, living and/or dead, is not coincidental and purely intentional.
Dis-disclaimer: Forget the disclaimer. Just enjoy the write-up for what it is.

My class has evolved from sitting in little social cells comprising of single people to a class that has cells of various sizes. Initially, most of the students in class were unfamiliar with each other. Some already did know each other, but only those who came from the same school. But as time went on, the class began to build friendship links. Cliques began to form, some containing 3, others containing up to even 6 or 7. Some people in class never did join any of these cliques, becoming free bodies. Or space fillers. You decide which is which. But these cliques aren't really solid. Sometimes someone from a certain clique will join another, in a sense being part of both cliques. This lack of permanence in certain students in class will perhaps bring the class closer together as the concept of a fragmented class in the form of cliques will break, thanks to them.

Okay, this analysis of clique-ology in class is quite enough I think. I shall continue sometime soon. (aw) Too short isn't it? TOO BAD.

Story is OVER

2007-06-21T13:52:00.000-07:00

Erm... What it says.

Okay, now that my entry is shortened with the absence of a story, I shall force on with my second day of hunger strike.

When I woke up, it was to a sore other right cheek. I actually managed to sleep on my side through that fateful night. I did the boring usual (brush teeth, drawing blood in the process) and proceeded to play more cards. Fortunately this time, no jackass was around to kill the lights. Play until happy, then go attend Sunday service. Some of my classmates decided to go have morning exercise. I wondered if their brains were corroded by the famine. During a famine, you should conserve energy whenever possible. Morning exercise is NOT a way to conserve energy. During the super-short sermon by someone from Trinity (a Mr Gary Chia I think, a friend of mine might know him), I managed to get into a lengthy conversation with my friend about the Bible. Yeah, I couldn't care less about the sermon. After about 20 minutes, he said he would ask his mum about what did reach his ears during the conversation. Odds are he won't ever come talk to me about it again. Sian.

Oh well, I tried.

After sermon was newspaper collection. We got sector 13. Ooooh. My block was the scariest though. So many people wanted to dump their papers. What to do? I carry until my back want to shatter into a million tiny pieces. Oh yeah, same with my arms. Normally such a load would be okay. I guess it was the famine.

We got back from the traumatising experience, only to slack in the hall. So how? Play more tai-ti (Is that how it's spelt? gosh) with friends. For two hours. What a well spent two hours.

After tai-ti session came concert, where the speaker kept giving references to food. I had the feeling that an angry mob would form. There were numerous performances, I will not elaborate on them purely for the sake of making this thing short. Instead, I shall skip to what happened AFTER the camp.

We were heading to Causeway Point, and I lagged a little behind my class. These two girls from the same camp group as me approached me and attempted some small talk. So since I am sporting, I reply them satisfactorily. And then one of their guy friends joins in the fray. Pressure built, and I gave them the humour treatment.

The reply? "His words are dripping with sarcasm!" Oh my, thank you for appreciating my talent. xD

We went to Gelare for some ice-cream. I went for a tasty pasta coated with Tabasco™. Wow, that's some hot stuff. I mean the pasta. Tabasco was okay. Otherwise, I think I tagged along just to observe the class. What the social network was like. Yeah, I'm a distant researcher in that way.

OK, I've blogged long enough. Farewell spies, maybe you guys aren't such bad listeners after all... Oh wait, you have to be good listeners to be spies.

Story Part XIX

2007-06-18T21:44:00.000-07:00

Only one more part to part 20... Oh right, it's you all again. Maybe I will strangle you with a plastic bag, then if you're still alive, I will shoot you.

Aaron was suffering from heartburn. Not the heartburn you get from losing your soulmate. The kind when you eat too quickly. He just broke his fast with an eating frenzy. A mistake he was now regretting. It was a surprise he didn't throw up, although he felt like it. Aaron tottered to the cupboard for some digestive aid. He flipped open the cap and tipped its contents out. Only a moth came out. He dragged himself to his bed and collapsed in a heap, groaning and moaning as he went. This wasn't the first time he had eaten himself into this state of hangover. In fact, he had done it so often, all his friends wondered why he wasn't a fatty. But he wasn't one, and eating incessantly was his way of enjoying his benefits from genetics.

Aaron made an attempt to get up. He failed. He finally managed to get up by rolling off his bed first. Obviously walking didn't help him much to alleviate his suffering, so he sat up on his bed instead. He thought about what his fasting. "Was it worth it?"

"Of course it was," he thought, "God is worth anything."

I'm hoping to end my story by Chapter 25. HOPING. You can hope with me too. Maybe then it will work.

Oh yeah, I promised a fellow vic of mine that I would blog about the famine camp. Since I am a cooperative cretin, I will blog about such. This will be very long. Seriously. If you don't want to bore yourselves to death, I will sympathize with you all for a change, and tell you to just scroll down to the bottom of the post, where you can see the end of the entry. If not, just go on. But don't think for one fleeting second during those periods when primitive thought is possible for you that I didn't warn you.

When I got to Republic Poly at 10.40am, I was looking for friends. Not new friends, I'm not desperate. My friends from school, dumb spies. Instead I found nobody. I signed up like any chimpanzee would and picked my shirt size. Large. Oops. Maybe it will shrink. I also got my country assigned to me. Uzbekistan. I can only assume it's near Pakistan, and I don't even know where Pakistan exactly is, so how am I supposed to know what country I'm representing? Anyway, from there I began randomly walking around the camp area, which happened to be fully air-conditioned, and thus cold. Here's a thought. Why not Republic Poly lighten up on the air-con, save money and use it somewhere else, namely this camp? I think I almost saw my sweat freeze mid-air. Or did I? Maybe the famine got to me.

We began the hunger strike with a bang, nice cornfetti. They also brought a kid straight from Cambodia I think, to broadcast a nice speech of how World Vision helped him and his family straight out of poverty. How cheery. Too bad it all that happiness got lost in translation. Moving on, we have the silly role-play game. My group leader, Ivan (an okay guy I guess), gave a few of us these stupid badge-like trinkets to pin to ourselves, myself included. We were made to be kids. A few of us also got trash bags. They were HIV sufferers. Some had black paper taped over their mouths or eyes. You can guess what they were suffering from. We were supposed to meet certain goals like getting educated or getting enough food to survive. If only the food in the game was real. Running around was a nice thing to do, especially in an especially cold place. But when you realise you're not getting dinner, you slow down quite a bit. Yeah, that... kinda sucks.

After the treacherous ordeal, we had dinner after all. Green tea. In a packet. I valued it. One drink gets me halfway through my 2.4km run. If I run slowly. After that was another inspirational speech by World Vision's very own goodwill ambassador. I think, I forget too much. This camp thing is definitely something I prefer not to advocate, unless you don't have enough willpower to diet on your own. Such a saddening speech. People picking trash to live. HIV patients dying like free.

Well, let's be cynical here. Even the pastor from Trinity said, "Revelations said it's all gonna happen". Whatever we do isn't gonna change much. For every one you help, there's probably another 10 who you don't help. Yes, I know it's gonna change those who do get help. But the idea of this helping will defeat itself eventually. Let's paint the scene using before and after. Before: A poor family without so much as a zinc roof above their heads, eating rats for dinner and drinking water suspected to contain cholera. Now we help this poor, sad family because we feel sympathy for them. Aww. After: The family is on their feet, this time having a zinc roof over their heads, eating rice for dinner, drinking from the clean well and tilling the fields. Now they have new problems. Pests destroy a good chunk of the crops. Companies buy the produce at low prices, enough to barely continue the business and their lives. A drought or flood hangs over their heads like a Sword of Damocles. The worries and sorrows will never end. If the Sword of Damocles falls, it won't matter if they were farmers or scavengers. They would all be dead.

I understand at this point if you criticise me for being too cynical and pessimistic. I guess I exist as a dampener to over-enthusiasm, in this case, over the poor, starving kids in Africa.

Well, soon it was midnight. We had fun playing tai-ti (Is that how it's spelt? Aah who cares you're all spies anyway) for about an hour. A final game of bluff ended the card spree, only because someone turned off the lights. Everyone went "OI" but I guess you can't blame the jackass for turning off the lights. After all, some people can't sleep with the lights on. Like me.

Famine Camp attendance from 1SB3 was: Benji, Buana, Buo Wei, Celestine, Charis, Deyong, Jia Min, Mark, Meryl, Natasha, Selena, Shern Shern, Soe Min, Yiwen and Zong Ping. Yeah, in alphabetical order. Sorry, I'm bored.

Alright, I've said too much, you're all gonna sleep. Hmm, maybe my entries should be shorter. Naah. Good night, evil spies.

Story Part XVIII

2007-06-16T00:35:00.000-07:00

Oh gosh, I HAVE lost control of this story. Now I shall be demoted from author extraordinaire to a crummy little quill fry. Oh well, here I go anyway, spies.

Aaron had decided to spend a day fasting. But not just a day. A full 24 hours. There's a difference there, you know. He would take breakfast in the morning, but miss it the next morning. For a day, he would fast for... well, I think 24 hours too, but that's not the point. Anyway, Aaron had decided to fast because it tied in rather well with this cool phrase: Prayer and fast. No, none of his family members were dying. He was doing it for spiritual purposes; to draw closer to God. Naturally he didn't feel very comfortable about starving himself, but he knew that he putting aside his carnal cravings to have just time "talking" to God would be very pleasing to God, and to him. But no, he didn't know what to pray to God for. There weren't very many things that he wanted. Besides, a prayer prepared like a speech sounded silly to Aaron. After all, he thought, a speech usually involves many sappy, flattering words, can't God see through all that? What does he want from us anyway? As Aaron sat on his couch (He never went down on his knees, he felt it was too extravagant a way to pray), pondering that question, suddenly the answer came to him, like an anvil to the head. "I know," thought Aaron.

"I'll pray in tongues."

Such a God-conscious chapter. Maybe you all spies are atheist, and are feeling pretty condemned by the hidden message behind it. If there is one. Moving on.

Argh, I'm having some World Vision 30 Hours of Famine Camp, where you will starve in view of the starving kids in Africa. Fortunately, you will be regularly hydrated, which the starving kids in Africa lack even access to water. They can't even bathe. How unfortunate. You will be hydrated with SWEETENED drinks, which happens to have sugar or carbohydrates inside, which IMHO is food. Is this a famine camp? I honestly have no clue anymore. Might as well spam protein shakes during the camp. I know I have some at home, maybe I can beat the system... kekeke...

Looking at this, I feel the concept of this starve camp is rather stupid. Let's take the concept and put it in another context. 60 minutes of Killing Camp. In view of all the fighting and killing in the Middle East that has been going on for about 60 years, people will go around killing each other in an organised Free-For-All deathmatch until either 60 minutes are up, or there is no one left to kill. Guns provided. I suppose there would be only one survivor after 60 minutes, don't you think? Anyway, if such a horrific event were to take place, I would buy a videocam, quickly chiong to the site and start taping. It would be definitely something to remember for sadistic me. Hehe.

Well, I'm just bored now, nothing else to say. Goodnight, imbeciles. I shall knife you in the back and swipe your glasses straight off your face when you're not looking.

Story Part XVII

2007-06-12T18:51:00.000-07:00

Well, I never expected this simple story to go so long... Never mind, I shall continue.

Aaron was busy scrutinizing his handphone, looking for cracks in the casing when he suddenly stopped. He thought about what had happened throughout the year and what he had done about it. Again. He was funny that way.

There were times when he had done things which had some strong emotional connotation to it, like saying flattering things or just being a friend in need. He felt thoroughly embarrassed by those times. Sometime he would find his lover, but now was too early. To be realistic, he just wasn't ready for a relationship. Financially, emotionally, spiritually, and -- well, you get the idea. If he keeps saying these things, he might get some, well, unwanted attention. That's something he definitely doesn't want. Yet whenever he looks at a cute girl, well, you get the idea. The feeling wasn't strong anymore, but the very existence of such a feeling unsteadied him. All he wanted was to be a good friend, but how can he be one if he had a crush on her? It would be obstructive as his own conscience would put the brakes on any form of bond-forming conversation between him and her. This was something he had to understand. And eventually break.

"I can't do it." thought Aaron.

"But God can."

Well, I can't think of a nice way to end this story, that would explain why I keep writing. This would mean that I have lost control of this story. Oh, fie.

Let's recap what happened during this week. Hmm.... What did happen this week? Gosh, the terror of it all. Nothing worth mentioning happened this week. What am I to do. Oh panic panic panic. Never mind, I will make this super abrupt and end the entry here.

Story Part XIV

2007-06-10T23:19:00.000-07:00

And I'm still going strong... Oh yeah, hello fornicating harlots of destruction, I hope you brought your sunglasses, this story is gonna burn out the back of your head hehehe...

Aaron was busy playing CS, and trying his best just to kill that sniper on the other end of the map. He trained his eyes on the screen, tracking a little figure in the distance that was trying to blast his brains out. Blam! 1 shot. His foe missed him by about an inch. He replied with a shot from his AK. Boom! One step left. Boom! again. One step right.

BLAM!

His foe was dead. By some stroke of luck, Aaron had smote his opponent with a bullet to the head.

Aaron released his grip on the mouse and heaved a sigh of relief. His adversary had killed him 3 times in a row before he finally put that bullet into his head. Aaron put down his headset and hit the 'quit' button. He mused a bit over what he had achieved this holiday. "Oh right," he thought, "Nothing."

Which was almost true. He hadn't mugged, save that time he did a bit of homework. He had yet to do anything to reach his PSA. He had many plans, including an outing he had yet to organise because he was scared everyone will fob him off with excuses. Strange that he was thinking about mugging suddenly when he had been such an anti-mugger. His friends gave him the title of mugger only because he seemed so good in his maths and science, even though he couldn't amount to those scholars or the top kids in school now. All the time he had been a computer addict, paying attention in class and making notes during school. Oh yes, during school he was a true mugger, but at home he becomes someone else, a CS guru of sorts.

"Wow, in a sense I do lead a double life," thought Aaron.

There you go, you cheap things. A story to burn your eyes out. What, they're not burned out? Oh darn, I'm gonna kill my laser gun supplier...

Here I am, sucking away at some Robitussin while thinking of some random thing to say, and you know what? I can't think of some random ramblings to come up with. I mean, come on. Me, the great me, have pledged to blog every 2 or 3 days to make sure this blog doesn't get extinguished by lack of entries. Entries are firewood, the blog is the fire. I need to put in entries to keep this blog going, and to make sure everyone gets a good laugh about it too. If I don't post in entries, people will get funny ideas regarding me, then I will become a wanted person because people want to find me in case I have been captured, clapped in irons and tied to a rack, and given the tickle torture. The horror of tickle torture. So yeah, I must keep blogging. I must! If not, I will be a wanted person, my whole life on the run from evil spies like you until my poor legs run out of strength and I collapse and die in a bloody mess. I must keep blogging for my safety, if not I will have no safety, or even security. Nobody wants to lose their security, right?

Oh hey, that was random enough.

OK, I think this update is long enough... Nah. I will continue the story next time. Farewell, orcish warlocks and witches of the like. I shall exorcise you, and those of your ilk too. Oh wait, that means me too. Dooh.

Story Part XIII

2007-06-08T00:22:00.000-07:00

Ooh scary, part 13... Oh right, the story. Good evening notorious denizens of all things bad. Now for the torturous story.

Aaron was having lunch with his friends at the Plaza Exchange, and they were definitely having a good time there, talking, joking and laughing at each other's bad luck. But as time wore on, Aaron soon began to run out of jokes. Soon he would become very silent because he had little else to share. Already he felt the stress building in him. What should he say to them? Would he draw unwanted attention to himself because he suddenly falls silent? He was entertaining everyone at the table. To clam up now would be disastrous, at least for him. Everyone else would be okay maybe, they being much better at striking up small talk than him.

Aaron was almost out of jokes. He was running on his last resort now: the racist jokes, which he preferred not to tell in favour of those of other races. Aaron was on the verge of nail-biting yet senseless anxiety. He hated it when he felt obliged to socialise. He just couldn't conjure up a random topic when he felt 'in the grip'. It was an insurmountable obstacle he had yet to overcome. At that moment he said a quick prayer to God, asking him pleadingly to give him the best words to say at the time.

"All right," Aaron said, "We've all eaten, lunch is done. Where to now?"

God had answered his prayer.

And so concludes this chapter of the story which will probably not end so soon. Anyway...

I managed to wake up at 9am today!! yay. Ever since the dratted holidays began, I have been waking up at 11am, but not today! Take that, holidays. Soon enough I will wake up at 8.45, then 8.30. By the time I return to school, I will wake up at 6.00! Then I will actually get to school on time. Whoopee.

All right, enough celebrating. Now I need to balance this blog with some derogratory self-critical comments.

Much as I have a small given talent in everything impersonal, I can never, for some unidentifiable flying reason, sense someone else's feelings acutely. For example, someone may actually want to give me a well placed slap in the face, but I can't equate the lack of verbal interaction or that bitter countenance to anger or hate. Terrible, isn't it? And, unsurprisingly, it's gotten me into trouble already. But when I look at what I have gone through and at the world, I'm not really that different. My mum still can't forgive my dad for what he did to her. Same goes with my friend's mom. And basically for a lot of moms and dads. Forget the movies, forget the stories, see the world for yourself. It's all brutal truth. You can't escape it.

Well of course, saying all this nonsense doesn't help the situation one bit, but I feel knowing that there are people suffering worse things than you does help quite a bit. Maybe. I can't trust my emotions. It's all too confusing. We might as well chop off all our body parts and become cold, uncaring robots.

Come to think of it, starting this blog has helped me to do something I otherwise couldn't ever do. I can now write stories without having to hand them up. I can finally do some leisure writing. That's one. Another thing, I have finally been able to tell the select few who know who I really am who I really am without having to tell them who I really am in person. Which is very me. I think I could get comfortable this way...

All right, this update is quite a long one already. But then, how long is long... Goodnight monsters. Hope to slay you soon.

Story Part XII

2007-06-06T00:10:00.000-07:00

Hmm such a nice number... 12... oh yeah, good evening evil denizens of malice, I hope you have a good time looking at the screen, then you all will burn out your eyes and live the rest of your pathetic lives blind. Ok, let's go.

Aaron sat before his computer, monitoring all he knew who logged into MSN. Vann was online. Jonathon was online too. Others were online too, but he couldn't be bothered. They were the ones he were comfortable with, and only that mattered. All the others were different. Other guys, he felt like they wouldn't have much to say back. Girls, he thought they might get the idea that he was making a move on them, and that he couldn't afford to have. Not after that incident...

As he slowly dozed off, a mild 'ding' sound woke him up. Someone logged on. Aaron looked at the screen name. A firecracker went off in his gut. It was 'Jade'. Should he try to say sorry to her? But then again, as they say, "Sorry no cure". How could he make amends? How would she react to his request for harmony? First he needed the courage. He didn't even have the courage to speak up. "Someone's gotta put both of us in a situation forcing us to talk. Then something might happen. Something might just happen." Now's a good time, he thought. All I have to do is talk to her. It seemed so easy. Peace seemed so easy to achieve.

How naïve of Aaron.

All right, I still can't think of any cool-sounding finisher for this story. Anyway, moving on to the blog...

Yes, I will still be blogging during the holidays, even though the idea of this blog was to give spies an excuse not to be mugging, making you all fail your exams due to a failure of such. Yeah, I know how old you spies are. Or where you go for school. Or what you look like. Even how long you've lived. So when I feel like it, I will bear down on you all, guns blazing. Oh yeah, I don't have any guns. Multiple curses. Never mind, a metal pole will do...

I guess I'll still be protesting against mugging by setting the perfect example: Not mugging. But if I don't mug, I'll lose out on grades simply because of one silly concept: Independent Learning. Rote learning, apparently, is the only thing we simpletons know can bring us our grades. Because it can. Is there any other way? We could have remedial lessons. Do our homework for a change. Attend lectures that now do not exist because of holidays. Anything please, anything but mugging. Unless I find a good friend who will help me out there. Maybe that's just what I need. A trustable friend. Who I can actually be serious with. And still feel comfortable with at the same time. That would work.

OK, I've talked enough. And like I've said, foul cretins, I know you. I will stab you many many times with my butter knife. Then I will stand over your bloody body. And laugh. Ha ha ha.

Ha.